Me XD

Week 3

2012-02-03T01:11:00.002+08:00

So it is the first day of Week 3.

A quarter of the term just flew by! Just like the common maxim, "When you are having fun, time just flies." The weather is chilly, yet the warmth, mixed the potent toxic of friendship, brought upon many smiles. Lips were upturned when the first snowflakes touched our noses and eyelashes, we were like kids, "SNOWING!" excited, bubbly. Realized that happiness was so simple after all. Sometimes, we feel lost in a foreign country, and for those going overseas, or is somewhere far away from family, have faith. Life is not fair, we all know that. But it is what we make out of it that matters after all doesn't it? I once thought that my life was in shambles. Handcuffed, gagged, immobile, stuck in that vicious cycle. Most people thought my life was good, I must say, in retrospect, I was such a baby. Inability to keep up with work and being involved in a really unhealthy friendship seems like the end of the world then. Heck what was I thinking. Academic prowess is all that matters here somehow. People do remember you. Scoring first in faculty is phenomenal, securing second place is crazy. The academic pull is so strong, positive peer pressure. A definite sign here. Library is never empty, trust me. I popped in to grab my earphones at 1am, certainly not empty.

Some skeptics criticize the system, with that all too famous rejection letter to Oxford. Some argue that these universities are posh, too fancy, and pompous, so full of oneself. Students are reassured that they are the creme de la creme. True, you ask me? Yeah. This place is majestic, it is grand, but it is not arrogant. Those who misunderstand this place will say that, you are just saying that, you don't mean it. Then look, with brilliant supervisors who put you down from time to time, you will believe that you are just as normal as anyone else, at least for me. You learn to be humble, to know that you are not the world, nor any different from your course-mate. Yes, academic excellence mean the world here, but backstabbing rare, though I believe indirect inhibition to resources plentiful. This place is not perfect, and some comments, well-deserved.

A compendious summary of my current life then. History doesn't feel as bad as before. Friends are truly my supporting pillars and trust me, group studying helps. I finished my work in less than half the time I would take by working on it alone. Lost some rather exquisite, precious, okay I'm exaggerating, but yeah, I've lost one of my possession recently. =/ not happy about it. I don't wanna spend money getting a new one. I can pay my rent using that money!(rant rant rant, yanks hair out) There you go, smiles and sunshine(I want sunshine! and snow )

Time for reflection and resolutions??

2012-01-01T12:07:00.004+08:00

Reflection.

2011 was a good year. Ups and Downs. I'll try to write as much detail as I possibly can.

Early 2011, I received my Letter of Confirmation, ecstatic. Went on for Adventure Race 2011, one of the toughest race I've ever been in. Embedded memories. Looking back, I didn't know how we did it.

After a couple of dramas, examinations just snuck upon us. Ended with grace. Prom night was all grand and fun. Keeping fingers crossed.

June to September. Peak period.

2 week long camps coupled with short travels during the weekends. Literally kept my travel bag for a month without stowing it away. Then taking it out again after a week's break. The good life. Everything was quiet and smooth like a smoothie. Friends gathering were numerous. We traveled and ate good food :) . I miss those days.

Results. Contented. Sunway Lagoon ! Just a few days of catching up. Brilliant.

The whole awesome-ness caught up with my body, fell terribly sick for a couple of days.

Visa. Award. Banquet. Packing. Flying.

London. Oxford. Windsor. Eton. Bath.

Cambridge.

Fresher's week. Rave night. Ceilidh. Mexican food night. Paddock gatherings. College family.

Weekly jamming sessions. Emmanuel's Super formal. Peterhouse's formal. Queen's formal. Pembroke's formal. Nottingham games (Netball?? ). Malaysian Food Fest. Music night in Pembroke.

Supervisions. Lectures. Work. Study.

Exploring the town. Amazing. King's College Chapel. St. John's Chapel Tower. Backs. Numerous bridges. Several colleges.

Board games. Walking. Rehearsing for a play.

For 2012,

I don't want any more arguments with you. No idea how it all started. There used to be a dynamic conversation. All strained and polite, we weren't anything like before. What happened. I don't want to find out. Why. Trying banging your head against an unmovable wall. I'm sick of it.

Be a tougher girl. Tears won't help me. All the same, I thank those who were with me when I cried and stumble. Gave me a helping hand, provided great company and kept my sanity at bay.

Study well.

Survive academic year with a great big smile. Perhaps the most important resolution of all.

Time to type again

2011-12-09T00:29:00.002+08:00

So I'm back in Malaysia.

Sentiments.

1. It is so HOT HOT HOT HOT here.

Chilly wind, triple layers, winter boots and hoodie have been part and parcel of my life over there. I'm happy with a 10 degree Celsius. When the temperature dipped to around 5, it became really uncomfortable. According to my friends there, it just gotten colder since I've left. So, yeah. I'm used to the cold and Malaysia is really really REALLY warm. I think I'll switch back to normal in a few days. The stupidest thing that happened. I was travelling from London to the airport, and of course, I wrapped up like sushi, when I landed, I took of my outer coat, and tada, I was melting!!! I just kicked off my boots after I reached home, and swore to myself that I'm not wearing them ever in Malaysia. Honestly, now I realized how ironic it is to wear boots in Malaysia, unless they are for vanity purposes. Wait, WHAT? nonono, that is not right. Heels look much better, anytime.

2. I'm having a vacation, not a holiday

According to my friend's supervisor, we are to VACATE our rooms, not take a holiday. I proudly declare that I've brought 4 books back to Malaysia. To my dismay, my coursemates easily lugged 10 back to their own respective countries. SERIOUSLY? I sacrificed one maths book just because I figured that it is not worth it to lug a 1.2 kg text book around London, and I really regret that decision.

3.I'm becoming a nerd

I will be frustrated if someone steals my books. Please, do not steal my books. I have to study! Not because of "kiasu". It is because I did not follow lectures during the infamous 8 weeks term ( although I think I'll die doing a 12 weeks term).

4. I've learnt not to compare workload

It just backfires. When I try to vent to people in the same university, it hits me pretty hard that everyone is facing equally or tougher challenges. Defeats the purpose of venting since it would be interpreted as whiny. ( ? ) At least that is what I feel when people start to complain far too much about their work, because I have to do my work too. Once in awhile is fine, throughout the 8 weeks will be stretching it too far. (Although I shall admit that I'm one of the more vocal complainers.) Then you might ask, just whine and irritate your friends from other universities! That doesn't really work as well. They have their own work too! and honestly, I feel that some might think that we are exaggerating the workload, or not. Anyways, it just made me feel worse knowing that I could have chosen an easier life ( at least for Michealmas 2011). So I will hold my seniors' advice to heart, just do what you have to do, study SMART, cut corners ( strategically ), skim through journals and don't compare your workload with other people doing the same course, it just make things more difficult for you.

5. University is a place to challenge you, if not there is no point in going at all.

My lecturer said that. After that I just stopped complaining. It is meant to be hard, if it is easy, there is no point travelling halfway across the world to study. The work broke me time and time again. Mental breakdowns were common during week 6. I just cried and stayed in my room, feeling all stressed out. I crashed in my friends' rooms because that will stop me from wallowing in my self-created pool of depression. Some of you might be wondering, "oh DAMN, was it that bad????" It felt like that at that point of time, and I talked to my CuMas mom, tearing up when she understood how I felt completely, because she felt the same a year ago. Oh dear dear, how lucky I am to have her as my mum. After awhile, I sort of gotten used to the degree of toughness and just pull my socks up, stick my chin up high, stride on with sheer perseverance.

6. Friendships and College

College feels like home. I felt a twinge of sadness when I moved out for winter, knowing that I will not be there for quite some time. I have been through a lot in a matter of 2 months. Meeting such good friends, who all supported me through thick and thin. Smiled with me, and watched me cry. College mates are awesome!

Then friendships in general. I now know that some are meant to be broken, and I should have done that since the beginning. The end was visible, but I chose to believe, have faith.Then, my faith just dwindled over time. I shall bid my goodbye, and I hope I won't turn back. It is time to wave and leave with dignity. Do not expect to hear from me anytime soon, I will expect the same. This doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. It does, a lot, and you probably had no idea how much courage and tears it took me to make this decision.

On the other hand, I have gained some precious friendships. They feel like family. =) 2 months. Just 2 months. And I wonder, how did it happen??? I know that some higher power is watching over me, guiding me as I make my choices and pull me through week 6, and I thank God for that.

All in all, I'm good!

I just need stardeee and hopefully I get to do some decent amount of work before lent term starts!

A month??

2011-11-04T21:00:00.003+08:00

To be exact, more than a month since I'm in England.

So to answer most people's question. "How are you? How is the workload? How is the university?" I'll answer them now!

So how are you.

I'm okay. Been through a rough patch recently, came out of it largely unscathed. I wished I could be more apathetic, but I'm still far too humane, detaching does work, until it stopped working. And i crashed. But the worst storm is over I hope, and I smiled through it.

How is the workload?

Insane. It is just overwhelming. Reading books after books. I just lost count. 10 books in the reading list for an essay seems pretty normal now, 2k words essays do not feel as intimidating as they used to be. Supervisions are beginning to be fun, and they did provoke me to think more, not taking assumptions for granted.

So what do I have to do.

Basically just 4 essays, 1 math and 1 stats per fortnight for supervisions. Add that to lectures ( which their own sets of reading lists, I just couldn't afford to read them. =( ) So yeah, overwhelming just seem like an appropriate adjective for now.

I did play, of course. I play hard, but I worked harder. 40 hours of reading per week seems pretty crazy to me. But most people would at least do a 6 every day. I can't imagine anyone else get by without doing that much work. You simply couldn't.

How is university?

The environment here is amazing, the vibe is just great! I was fascinated by the pictures before, but pictures could never do this place justice. The whole atmosphere, architecture, people are just so amazing. Colleges are so separated and yet so integrated into the whole system. It is hard to explain. I really love this place. I'm going to try their formals oh yeah !

So, in conclusion, university is really different. I still feel dumb and at times I felt that they made a mistake by offering me a place. I am not going to lie and say everything is smooth and sunny here. Everything is different. I no longer have lecture notes to depend on. Textbooks doesn't really help as much as before. There isn't a standard "text" to fall back onto. There is argument to every intellectual thought, and I am not used to that system. Taking sides after evaluating books and giving them a good summary are not my forte. The books might not help the essay writing directly, but just summarizing them is a tough job, maybe not to others. Grasping the big picture is my flaw. I accumulated facts, but they don't fit into my puzzle. So it gets pretty stressful. I just feel that I'm not well equipped for all these. Then again, I'm here to learn, and I hope that after 3 years, I'll read this post and say......

I'm glad I felt that way, but I've changed.

So :) I'll be strong. But all of you must be strong too. Life is too short to be sad.

Oh

2011-10-10T06:57:00.003+08:00

No no no no. I am back to where I started. I thought that things had passed me by. It did! And came back in this form. Better than ever. I am confused. I don't wanna answer your question. You just needed some confirmation and confidence didn't you? I needed some time and then I regret it, which is silly. I am giving you an assorted chocolate box, each with different flavour. I could have given you dark chocolate, but handing it over is just a step I'm scared of taking right now. I want to make that step. I don't have the courage to. I miss yesterday. Looking forward to the weekend. I just don't know what my heart and brain are arguing about. Let's choose the happier option from now on :)

This place is INCREDIBLE

2011-10-03T15:33:00.003+08:00

Just arrived in my college on Thursday. Pretty good so far.

Just a brief introduction of my college. It is Emmanuel College, founded in 1584 by Sir Walter Mildmay. Currently holding on to the 2nd place in the Tompkins table, right after Trinity College. Bagged a couple of best college in the last 10 years, including 2010. So, that is about it for the academics part. On the fun side, it is a very friendly college, the Master actually greeted us personally and invited us for parties. Drinking along =)

I've attended quite a few activities. Well one of the main message of introduction talk by the Master was, "we are a modest college, but just to let you all know, we are one of the best in the top university." Everyone was laughing their heads off. He is pretty amazing, Lord Wilson of Dinton aka Master.

The head porter was a tough guy, and porters breathe down our necks most of the time, making sure we abide the rules. But technically we are not matriculated yet, so we shall see eh? They can fine us however, calling it donation, which they actually donate to charities, but donating is expensive. =( So try not to get into major trouble that is.

Of course, there are the Dean and around 80 Fellows. This is a breath taking college, there are so much to take in!!

Okay, so about the environment. It is very beautiful. I'm staying in one of the original buildings which came along when it was founded, so it is pretty old. East Court is over 100 years old, so I'm guessing this ( North Court) can easily double that. We have a paddock, pond, lawns and ducks everywhere. It is beautiful. Then you can just absorb the intricacies of the architecture by sitting on the garden (the porters will not scold you, if you know just where to sit! Trinity doesn't allow that. EVER )

Hmm. I'll talk about my first formal dinner. It is a 3 course meal, in the upper hall with the VIPs of the college. Food was okay. White wine was good, red was a bit sour and bitter, Yikes? You get served and it is really grand. Students just sit, and there are certain rules to abide. No photography, no pennying, no singing birthday songs when the Fellows are around. They are a couple more but generally it is alright. So we had fun!!! We decided to pass a chocolate using our mouth. It was wrapped, shaped like a coin. Good fun =) But I skipped the club, having drank cocktail till 10pm. So they went out to party while I crash.

I'm so sorry that I'm not posting any pictures up yet. I did not take pictures of the hall, formal hall or even the formal dinner. =( Parents borrowed the camera.

No pictures for matriculation too. How sad is that. Signing the book with blood and no pictures? (figure of speech). It is a once in a life time thing. You wear the college gown and be matriculated. It is a dull but absolutely important event for all fresher. So much more to share. I just don't have time. Need to head out again.

Updates soon.

Uk- Part 2

2011-09-28T03:17:00.004+08:00

So I stopped at London.

London was pretty chilly the morning I landed. Around 8 degree Celsius, but it did get warmer by noon. Went to Buckingham Palace in the morning, watched the guards of honour, pretty cool if you ask me, but I wouldn't go for it the second time. Saw a sick horse puking from time to time, looks like it is in pain. =( However, it is obvious the horses are well fed and happy. Chilled in Green Park. Just like the scene from TV, green grass, people reading, dogs catching frisbee. =)

Met up with Lydia in the afternoon. Oxford Street. Had McD's. Fish Fillet, quite different from Malaysia's. Of course, shopping area!!! Topshop, Miss Selfridge blah blah.. all there. Due to luggage constraint, bought nothing. Na-da. Spent the afternoon there, then headed back to the room. After resting for an hour, Chinatown time! Met up with David and another senior, queued at Four Seasons to have the famous and yummy DUCKRICE!! It was really good.

Then we retired for the night.

On the second day ( YES just the second day), mum and I went to Windsor Castle, Eton College and Oxford. These places are beautiful. Will upload some pictures to illustrate, because words can't really do them justice. Even pictures. The whole atmosphere was so elitist and special. I soaked it in. Loved the places. Absolutely heart Oxford and the castle. Good places to go. Highly recommended.

Third day.

Woke up a bit later ( 7am) , went out. Visited Big Ben, House of Parliament, Westminster Abbey, London Bridge, Tower Bridge etc etc. Pretty places. Amazing architecture. I'm falling in love with the city!! Lunch in a local pub with Tze Ni, Sheng and some others. Food was mediocre. Just miss them. Had a minor incident, but thank God the people here are honest. We were walking on the street and mum recalling that I wanted to watch a musical, suggested that we go together! So Les Miserables it is :D It was really good. Moved me to tears. The casts are AMAZING. Great voices. Live orchestra. GOOOOOOOOD. Highlight of London for me. Best of all? We got a 50% off for the tickets. WHooohoo.But it is still GBP 26 per pax, definitely worth it. Went for duck rice again. hahahahah. :D

Fourth day coming :)

Windsor Castle

ChristChurch College, Oxford

Radcliff Camera, Oxford

Tower Bridge, London

Big Ben, House of Parliament, London

UK - Part 1

2011-09-26T03:59:00.004+08:00

Well, I can't help but feel touched. With amazing friends like you guys.

哭过就好了，伤都会好的~~

最后，还是微笑着离开。坚强，所以不用担心 =）

Well, London is a pretty city. I'm beginning to fall in love with the city itself. Things are so vibrant around here. Easy to get around. Down side? Expensive. I had the famous Four Season duckrice yesterday in Chinatown. Whopping RM 125 / GBP 25. Heart bleeds. Travel card per pax GBP 27.60. Heart attack. So yes London is nice and awesome ( THE SHOPPING IS JUST AMAZING ) if you have money. Unfortunately, that is not me. So, bye shopping.

So, I shall detail as much as possible. It is difficult to type down everything. These 2 days have been hectic, but for you. my friend(s) , I will try my best -lah.

Flight + landing.

The flight was alright. The seats are pretty cramped, even for my height. If MAS provides that, I wonder how AirAsiaX is, but my guess? Similar. Had fish for supper, nasi lemak for breakfast. Had quite a few snacks in between. They actually serve wine and beer !! Played chess, reversi in the morning. Slept like a log before that. After clearing custom,(wasn't that hard, X ray, FA and offer letter weren't required ), we took a cab to Marylebone. GBP 65. Stab to the heart.

London.

Let the pictures speak for themselves. ( I"m just lazy )

Friendship

2011-09-15T01:12:00.002+08:00

Read an article written by a friend tonight. This is funny, I just met him once, and tada? He is a friend already? I would blatantly deny that, venomously too if you had told me that I would have a friend as such years ago. Now, I merely see things in a different light.

Friends come and go. Flowers bloom and wilt. The rites of life, the passage of growth. One that we trod on the way to "grow up" and become an adult eventually. A friend would always be there. That was what I used to think. Convinced and held it true to my heart. But with the hustle bustle, and the pressuring tides from everyday life, however menial they may seem, do affect and might just change every bit of friendship, subtly.

One day, we might wake up and realize that she/he/they isn't/aren't present in our lives anymore. I felt the loss, the intangible sense of losing something. Some things are done because of the company, don't you agree? Going down the library. Taking the bus to a specific destination. Getting choco-flavored bubble tea. List goes on. Is it sad? Yes, it is. Wanting something to last is of course, what we like as human beings. I now know that as years move by, we gain and lose.

I lost some friendships along the way. Some memories make me tear up, and I wonder how that all happened. They weren't supposed to be that way! I lament, I whine, I wallow in self-pity but at the end of the day, I'm glad with all this experience, I get to paint my memories with brighter hues. The leaves have fallen. New ones are peeking from their buds, really to unfold anytime. Truly, that is the magic of spring, isn't it?

Some friendship, I've gained. Meeting new people, where we had no intention of keeping them as contacts. Those days, I missed. Now, many people do things for a purpose. I am not shying away from that claim. I too, keep people around at times because I feel that in the future I might need their help or blessings. What have I become. Some networking machine? However, I know that I make friends just because I like them. It is still that simple right now. I need them. I love hanging out with them. What is more to that? Always talking about something meaningful? No, for me it doesn't play out that way, the little conversation, or small gestures are the ones that stays. What is your friendship like without those things? Then the inside jokes, lame stories that somehow, keep finding a way to creep into the conversations. Those are the good days.

Then other friendships, those I've tucked away, safely in a corner. I have revisited them. Opened some old wound from time to time. Discover some little magic left in those memories. I too fumbled through the drawers, realizing how crazy we were, doing things, laughing without worries. Then, there are those who can always bring a smile to my face, like I've tasted something forbidden, too sweet to share. Those people, whom I can trust. No matter how much time has passed. Their traits seem to set in stone. I know that people do change, but somehow it doesn't apply to them. Puzzles me. But familiarity is a strong thing. I rely and I love. I cherish and I fought to keep them there.

Some of them are always there for me. Months may have passed. We may not have spoken. Nor would I know what they were up to. But when i reopened that dusty book ( facebook? okay pun intended) , I can still see them smiling and we can open up. Talking and sharing secrets. Why? Because we had a place for one another. Always. There is always care and forgiveness when it comes to this kind of friendship. Never will them hurt you too much. You will forgive and forget. Or will you? I know I will, or more accurately, I did. Of course it bothers me. Don't ever think those memories will shun away and stay there. Old skeletons in the closet. It hurts. But then, I knew you cared about me. So all is well. We are friends. I love you as one, and I'm ready to let go and move on.

One must have time to keep in touch with friends. It just wouldn't last if it is a one way thing. Time however, is scarce once I'm in the college. That is probably why I'm writing this. To remind myself that I have friends here. Those whom I claim I would make time for. Once life gets too busy, I do hope people reading this blog post understand. Yet, that wouldn't be an excuse strong enough to get me by too long. Do probe me if I seem like a distant friend, or worse acquaintance. Life rolls. But somethings are meant to be kept.

Just like those camps' name tag. Flipping past them bring me joy.

Sometimes, feeling nostalgic and understanding that the chapter has come to an end is a better choice, no?

I'm just thinking aloud. =)

Feelings

2011-09-09T22:53:00.002+08:00

Succumbed to an illness. No idea how it infected, or did i even get infected?

Basically felt like crap for a whole day.

Not going to elaborate more on that, cuz everyone knows how it's like to be awfully sick, no? and no need to relive that particular memory anyways.

Two more weeks. Heart thumping, mind racing, hands furiously fumbling. I'm afraid that I will tumble. I had so much in mind, so little time. I love the people around me. Such high expectations, with a brave facade, trying to snuff out any doubt, of any kind. It does mean a lot, but I guess loneliness might just creep up to me. Blinking the self-doubt away, it will not be blocking my pathway. Obstacles only to be parried. =)

There are thoughts like a runaway train, yet i can't pen it down. Ideas do play tricks on me, sometimes. This feeling is just indescribable. I'm not upset, definitely not. =D

Just because

2011-09-01T17:56:00.004+08:00

I am bored again. That explains the blogging.

Had been all over the place this week. Went to the bank, Penang, Taiping, Ipoh.

*wipes sweat* Tired!

I shall just do a quick summary.

Friday

Did my visa application, went for awards ceremony.

The place, no joke, is flooded with people. Their targeted destination - UK . So the queue was long, and the waiting time, exponential. With appointment, you can manage with 3 hours. But I took my friend's advise and went early anyways, did not help. So total waiting time for me was about 8 hours. Not complaining, cuz i did a costly mistake and managed to rectify it with a cost of RM 42. Just for going on the internet, and printing the form out. Yes yes. I'm that dumb.

Literally running outta the Wisma after that, scurried and all in the rain. Hurriedly changed in the car. I was wearing a long -sleeve blouse, with skinny jeans. Changed to a smart casual dress ( sorry I DONT EVEN HAVE PICTURES) with a pair of super duper high heels. That wasn't easy , but certainly, entertaining. After all the madness driving, I made it to the ceremony. Late. Did manage to get a glass-ish award. So, yes good.

But was depressed, cuz i dont have pictures. haha

Saturday

Shopping day! Went to pyramid, got a formal dress. =) mum made me wear flats in my formal dress, gah.. cuz i was supposed to attend a CUMaS dinner at Doubletree by Hilton later in the evening. It was fruitful. So many pro and friendly people.

Pichas!

Doubletree is posh! Smacks self for not knowing about the place before hand. Food was good. =D

Best of all, free.

Sunday

Hid in the house. Dont remember doing anything significant.

Monday

Bank day. ah.. that was tiring, spent hours playing poker. Got my contract done. Questions answered. Then of course, the infamous Jalan Ipoh's Seafood Porridge. Sorry, foodie here, didnt bother to take pictures. But of course if you know me, i rarely take pictures of my food cuz i'm too greedy. Eat first, think later. But then, it always is too late huh.

Tuesday, Wednesday

Did a random outstation trip. Too long to blog about. the gist of it - Food, Fun, Family.

So , was all good.

Thursday

Yes today. Went for la tang. Did some random shopping at The Mines. Turned out to be less than random. Bought quite a few things, with the 9 months supply in mind.

Great. 20-ish more days to go. appox 3 weeks.

I DONT WANNA LEAVE.

Wait, I am looking forward too. Just.. I'll miss Malaysia.

A LOT.

A less than eventful morning

2011-08-24T09:55:00.002+08:00

So i always blog when I'm bored. Well, spent a morning in the bank, reading " tell me where?" while having palpitation, great. Reading while feeling anxious, with accelerated heartbeats, blood surging up the brain, pretty awful I would say.

I will just blog about random things that come into mind.

Since Im reading bout swordfish, hmm..

Well, the beach calms me, with soft sand under my feet, with stars above my head, it's haven on earth. Yet, taking a closer look, it terrifies me. The waves so strong, easily toppling me if I were without support. The corals so intimidating, dark, vengeful almost. The marine life, so purposeful that I feel like an intruder to a life I will never fit into. Snorkelling used to be fun. As years go by, I feel more fear and dread. The only fun now is that I am with company,doing some interesting discoveries. The imbedded fear is there. Seeing corals bleach, perhaps insignificant to many, or blithe? It terrifies me,seeing life seeping away into nothingness. It is silly of me, worried about something so pretty. Don't get me wrong, I go ooh and ahh seeing lively corals tapping away, dancing with the rhythm of the sea. Just sometimes I feel scared. So scuba diving license will have to be put on hold. For some time. Till I conquer this unexplained phobia.

If you want to see me vulnerable, just drop me in a deep pool or sea, where I can't touch the ground. I will cling on to you, let you ferry me around, just desperate for support that is.

Then about adverts.
I spent the night watching deep moving ones from Thailand. Great, the tears flowed. It is amazing how it moved me, considering the clips are usually short yet concise and easily understood. Family values, forgiveness. Inhumane if you don't feel something.

Gratitude too. In all stages of my life, I had guidance from teachers and friends alike. They are a beacon shining in the dark. Whereas I'm a ship sailing in a dark canal. In each stage, every one played a different role. It is stupid, perhaps arrogant of me if I dismiss the efforts of my primary or secondary school teachers. I understand how important they are in shaping and moulding me, I do hope everyone else feel the same. Perhaps they aren't as good as you in the future? But what would anyone be without them in the first place. So thank you, teachers and friends alike. Some people have a sense of entitlement, some humbleness. I will do my best to keep my feet on the ground, head bowed low, to receive any knowledge you guys would want to impart. Why la, so sentimental. Lol. Because I'm leaving soon?

A month to come. I am very very excited!

I am Amazed !

2011-08-18T22:01:00.002+08:00

By my ability to dream.

Seriously, you can subscribe.

Dream of most of my friends before. Regular ones, irregular ones.

Close friends, sometimes not so close ones.

Very weird story lines.

Recent one is ..........weird.... unpleasant almost..

frustration .. ? And highly unrealistic.

I need topics to blog about !

Time for a happy post

2011-08-17T12:27:00.002+08:00

Have been going out so much last week. Meet up with friends, gathering, farewell. Since I've stated that this is a happy post, I'm not going to include how much i miss them.

I'm just lucky to have friends like that. =)

Then my awesome shopping spree. Went bimbo immediately. Paraded in OU, got my heels.. ohyes.. new record 4.5 inches, wore them straight outta the shop. First birthday gift from sister!

My wallet did not went on a slimming course cuz of that, thanks! Of course, drop by M.A.C. , bought the eyeliner. This is the second gift. haha. still wrapped up nicely in it's box. Welcome home, liner. Join the mac family. haha... stupid.. okay i should stop.

Decided to continue shopping in gardens/ mv. Got some clothing. Walk walk walk.. eat .. walk walk walk... my legs almost died.

So yes, i will stop shopping already. Low on cash right now, although my sister and mum paid for most of the stuffs i bought. and yea yea.. i was the only one buying like mad. Lotion, blazer, skirt, heels, cosmetics,camera... They are necessities cuz i have to leave soon. Very excited, meeting geniuses from all over the world! Intimidated but anxious to gather and just share ideas. Whoooops =)

Songs Smell etc.

2011-08-16T12:43:00.002+08:00

They trigger memories. Listening to Matchbox 20. That seems quite some time ago.

Memories are still there, fading into the background, replaced by stronger emotions.

The excitement, elated feelings. The downers too.

Humming.. " I'm just a little unwell... How i used to be ........"

Memories for sure.

Why i dislike goodbye

2011-08-14T21:33:00.002+08:00

I'm so used to you all already. This is a lousy reason, I know. But I'll never regret knowing all of you. Just feeling sad when you are at a loss i suppose.

Why did we hang out so much?

That reminds me so much of the good times we had together.

Random touring. Thats all we did. Bah.. but it meant so much, idk why.

Just missing you, thats all.

You know I'll be there for you.

You will be there for me too, i'm sure =)

Lost and Found

2011-08-11T23:56:00.002+08:00

Ever feel like you've lost someone dear to you , and you've found them again? Outta touch for months at times, some times a full year. But always making a point to catch up? Someone who you know.. will pick up the phone if you are crying. No matter what time. where. or when. Someone who wasn't there to support you when you are in pieces, yet you can go back in time and refill those blank pages just like that, and still need the support. Someone, who you can talk about your heartache, with a nonchalant tone of voice, yet he/she knows you so well and can look right into your eyes and say what you needed to know. Someone who will go to a decent length to see you smile. i have such a friend.

I needed your support, and speaking about the past doesn't hurt actually. You said I'm more complicated. Now I'm 2 jigsaw puzzle pieces, and i'm still me. That actually means alot but i shrugged it off then. It is just so easy to talk and share.

So thankyou for irritating me. and of course, always be there for me. Thank you for letting me irritate you, while allowing me to give you a great big hug if i need to. Thanks for telling me random stories just to make me laugh. Thanks for your shoulder when i'm tired. Thanks for holding my hand when i'm about to stumble. Thanks for giving me such a strong believe in friendship. Thanks for keeping me dear. Thanks for so many other things. =) What do we care .

I'm good

2011-08-07T18:09:00.002+08:00

I'm good, I'm all good. Finally I can keep my travelling bag after travelling for 4 consecutive weekends. One week break from travelling =) Yeah, its a good thing.

So, Phnom Penh was good. Cameron was good. And I'm good. My heart is good.

I'm too calm, you say. I just don't want to aggravate situation. I can't answer my own question. I am honest. Darn honest to myself. HEY HOW CAN I LIE. but still. I've been turning round and round. I really want things to be good, and it is. honestly, thats because i willed it to, what if i choose to break things apart just to see how things end. but why on earth would i do that. I treasure you, thats why i chose silence. Sigh.

Vent

2011-08-04T23:32:00.002+08:00

This blog has been a dump site and will still be. I need to type it out again. I need what you cannot give me. I told you. Because i ought to. But why do i feel worse. It wasn't easy. I need understanding.I need to talk. I don't want judgement. I dont want advice. I dont want opinions. I dont need anything from that point of view. I just need to be me. And you won't let me.

2011-08-04T00:36:00.002+08:00

I haven't write a decent length post for quite some time. My bad.

Well, things went back to what it should not be. I fought hard to make it till this point, only to realize that, i still rely on that, too much in fact. Tethered to an amazingly strong invisible string, juggled and so so twisted. Uncertainties are unavoidable. BUT please, I would rather them be bygones, instead of hunting me down again and again. What, why, how plagued me. I know what to do, or at least i believe that i know which foot to put forward, backwards, or stationary. Are these the right decisions? I probably never know.

Some friendships are so valuable that it is a pain to destroy it with your own hands. Yet looking at it the other way will taint the pure relationship. I tried. to move on. But the memories are there, reliving it hurts. Not of pain, just of betrayal. Betrayal perhaps is too strong a word, but i felt violated. If things had happened with my consent, then yes, i am a conspirator too. I need to know that we are okay, things had not changed. I want to know that. I pray for the answer. Yet i know , i cannot face you the exact same way again, it hits replay, and replay. I don't know when it will stop, but when it does, you can reclaim your spot in my heart, as one of my most trusted friend again. For now, I need someone else to protect me. I'm dreadfully sorry, but I've chosen.

I'm not emo. I just need to write this out. Life is about choices, I made them. Time to detach from you, and forgive another you. The vagueness of this post must have driven any of the people reading nuts. But I dont feel sorry =)

So

2011-08-03T12:15:00.003+08:00

This is a random post, mostly about solidarity, with a small pinch of chasm.

Kapas was fun, really fun. @jia ping : " wake up, beach, lunch, sea, dinner, crabs" . That is the summary of the whole trip ! We played in the water. Laughing about stupid things and the LB lying face. Star gazing, managed to see a shooting asteroid. Crab hunting, aggressive LB and WH. So many little things that made the whole trip absolutely wonderful and memorable. We can do anything without consequence. =) Wei Herng still have no luck with KING. hahah. the only time he was king, chee li was the victim >.<

All in all. good. There are things that i'd rather forgo, but its time to move on. Thanks J. Thanks Jp. How to bridge the gulf, idk.. *breathe* I'm good. All good.

What I know

2011-08-02T14:36:00.002+08:00

Things should be much simpler. That I know. Why did you do that? That I don't know. Talked to a friend, after making him wake me up. Why, you might ask. Although I was dead tired, I needed to talk. How I wish it never happened. How I wish.

jalan Jalan

2011-07-28T23:33:00.002+08:00

Went for a KL one day tour ! Went to parts of Kl that I haven't seen before. Took the LRT and monorail to random places ( actually we do have a destination in mind, just can't seem to stop getting lost) , finally reaching pavi for snowflake. FUN and JAM =) and =( ---> =)=

lame i know haha.

I love my friends. So, today was absolutely heartening. There simply are too many things to blog about, but I'm too lazy. Awesome day in short.

So where was I ..

2011-07-23T21:39:00.002+08:00

Hello people, sorry for the half hearted post before. So where was I... My effort during the month of July. I must say it did not go down the drain,however solictiude is unavoidable. Blogging is loud, especially during the night, so I shall stop and perhaps continue this some other time. Good night people!

Oh I've Forgotten

2011-07-23T10:41:00.002+08:00

We talked, and I enjoyed it immensely. Somehow I feel a little impertinent, but nothing extreme for that matter. I am put in the middle, again. Just because I'm born a middle child, doesn't warrant such a treatment! (pun intended) . I was stressed out, and both of you know it (and those that I've told) , I appreciate the confidence that you guys have in me. but sometimes, I'd rather not know because i feel helpless, seeing cries of help and standing on the highest middle ground. At the same time, i feel happy because i know its not particularly stifling. There are no sides, if i'm not with you doesn't mean that i'm with her, vice versa. I do not want you both to be put in corners, without space to negotiate, yet i know, friendship looks pretty fragile or pretty non-existent for now. and i care. that is the problem.

The whole of July. What I've gone through is a small matter. Looking back, I understood why i felt that way. I don't want to head towards that any more. But i know. i might. BUT NO ! the tugging of the heart and the pulling of the brain. sorry that i've thought out loud.

I have to leave. Abruptly. see you all.

Having and Being/ Losing and Gaining

2011-07-20T11:37:00.003+08:00

One of the most memorable talks I had during the BNM camp was with Director of Human Resource, Mr. Adhari. He gave some insights about being and having. Having knowledge and being knowledgeable is entirely different, with the former being the pre-requisite. Having to fulfill an task and being able to do that, sends different message, don't you agree? The 2.5 hours session really worked it's way till the core of my being, and i was more conscious, less ignorant about how I feel inside. I understood value of each individual. 50 cents or rm 1 worth more? What is the difference? 50 cents? or more than that? Less than that? We were taught to not read and understand things based on face value.

Then the issue about losing and gaining. Quote from "how i met your mother" , "sometimes, things had to fall apart to give way to bigger, better things". How I wish that is true. I am an introvert, by nature. Exposing myself to crowds drains me. It doesn't mean that I'm socially inept, I do like socializing around, just I tend to keep to certain groups. Sticking to a certain decision is inherently difficult, and nonetheless, paramount, so that I can move on with my life. I must say I did make progress, hard earned ones by the way, through blood, sweat, but not tears luckily. Imma stick it out till the end *hums*.

This camp helps me get rid of some of my insecurities. The fact that everyone feels some form of fear, being helpless, defenceless, feeling stupid, and kiasu. What I must do now is to believe in myself. No one else has the obligation to do that. If i do not trust my abilities, it would be a crime to expect others to push me to greater heights, because i deny it, although some dark forms of self-doubting is still lurking around, too deeply ingrained.

So thats about it for now =)

Pre-Departure Camp

2011-07-18T21:32:00.002+08:00

Whoots. I'm just back. I must say that it is THE MOST inspiring camp that I've ever been, so far. So I'm fortunate enough to meet Deputy Governor , Dato Mohammad Ibrahim , Assistant Governor MO, Directors of Departments, Deputy Directors, Managers, Bank staffs, and scholars !

Being there, seeing them being that successful is one thing. However, I got the chance to talk to them personally, and that helped me understand that being good in one field will get you nowhere. Being comprehensive does. Bringing humility to the table does. Continuous learning helps ! There are just so much things to share.

These people met the SUPERSTARS in the economic world. BERNANKE, TRICHET, ANDREW SHENG?? So awesome, so so so so so so so so SOOOOO awesome. They designed policies that affect millions of people. Just being in such an influential position awes me. Given such an opportunity- WOW. Sorry, super bersemangat now.

But yeah, awesome camp.

Realistic World

2011-07-14T13:45:00.003+08:00

I guess the title had sent the message across. That sends chills down my spine. What if I fall out of the favored bandwagon( not that i'm that favored anyways), what will people do? Do they still see me for who I am? A sense of apathy ? Or will my successes and failures depict who I am. No matter how much people like to think that they don't, I believe that somehow, people still do see them in that light. Sucess -bravo.. Failures, ah.. its alright.. ( REALLY ITS ALRIGHT??) Well, it differs from one person to another.

Personally I've seen realistic people, whilst being a realistic individual as well. I know that I need to fill my belly before fulfilling my dreams. Or its the other way round?? =P

Anyways, I have an urge, to go to a poor village, stay for a week or two, understand how being poor feels like. But i know i'll never muster the courage to go alone. =)

As time goes by

2011-07-10T23:53:00.003+08:00

Vivid colours become bland, then fade into the background. It's not a sad thing, but when I try to recall those memories that matters, somehow it wasn't as clear and terse as before. The presence hasn't graced me in hours, a positive thing =) Somehow I hope it elongate into days before it decides to show itself again. It will never be months, I'm pretty sure of that. Credits have to go to my friends and family. They kept me busy, occupied. The thoughts fallen into abyss, heart comforted, or is it the calm before the storm?

I'm never good in communicating. Self conscious, reserved, quiet at times, noisy at times. Land mine at worst, docile goat at best. I've come to acceptance. That is who I am. Sometimes a multitude of ideas popped out of nowhere, and at times erratic emotions took control. Sometimes pangs of bittersweet sensations come by and most of the time I'm pretty much calm ( just like everyone else ? )

Of course, I have to blog about BERSIH. What was the fuss all about? Are the mainstream medias reporting the truth? What actually happened? Why the tables are turned around? Lots of ambiguity and discussions about those issues. Kudos to people who actually went. They fought not only for themselves. They put themselves on the line, for us, the rakyat. The intentions are noble. Transparent and "clean" electoral system. That is what democracy is all about. I wouldn't know if our government is "bersih" or not in the previous elections, all i know, and what i know is that the rakyat had paid attention to this issue, and it would be best for the nation to have a clean election.

A random thought plagued me, what is there to be afraid of if our electoral system is VERY clean? NOTHING. Nothing to gain and nothing to lose. Its not a political issue at all. All races had come together, as ONE Malaysia towards this goal. All these talks about patriotism, well it showed during BERSIH. Old ladies, people in crutches, overseas students, all rally for the same cause, as peacefully as they can. Everyone wants the best for Malaysia.

Police worked hard for the peace to be maintained.

Governments want to keep the lines in place and keep the rakyat safe. I hope !

Bersih wants transparency.

Everyone wants the best for our nation ( and again hopefully ). Which is the way to go , I can't foretell , but bersih' s intention is definitely one of the ways to go.

Ache

2011-07-08T19:53:00.003+08:00

Muscle ache !

As some of you guys might know. I'm a pretty lousy violinist. Very very lousy. But I went ahead and changed the strings! Its such a amazing change that I am hooked to the violin.( yeala. although I noob I still wanna play ) Random playing for a couple of hours.. then my left arm kinda aching. Its a very subtle stab, unlike the muscle ache from running. Pretty happy about it, call me bimbo.

Random things on the table.

Dominant strings

Back of the violin. Believe me, it pains me to put it upside down like this.

Right side up =)

=)

2011-07-06T22:45:00.002+08:00

A happy day in general.

Woke up early in the morning, went to the market, had breakfast, papers, short nap, friend's place, lunch, TRANSFORMERS, dinner, animal planet, online.

Yeah, thats about it. Pretty mellow but satisfying.

Re Jping bloggie

We are always stuck in similar situations huh. I'm getting used to it. No more dull thud =) You all are gradually occupying the blank slots.

Habit / Reliance / Need

2011-07-04T23:12:00.002+08:00

Having something or someone fixed in a routine is almost parasitic for me. I'm a relatively boring person, so it rarely change. There grows reliance, and its normal for me. When things change, and of course thats how the world operates, often giving us what we need and then void of that, so we appreciate them when they are harshly or perhaps gradually taken away from us? Carpe diem is all I can say .. and what I've learnt. However I know that I don't NEED them to be there. There comes the conscious attempt to cancel them out totally before it gets to me ( okay.. by this time it had already gotten to me, I know. Preemptive measure? ) I'm glad to be who I am today. Ordinary. I have my dreams, and career aspirations. I have my downfalls and misery. I am imperfect yet happy in my own skin. I am very very grateful.

Money was once a very important aspect, of which I associate success with. But I grew up and understood that happiness , ultimately is what i'm looking for in life. So what are you looking for?

Thanks

2011-07-03T23:29:00.002+08:00

Thank youuu banyak banyak to all my friends who spent the day with me. Although it did not take all of the things off my mind, but it did distract me. You all are awesome. Making everyone laugh, till stomachache, and being so sarcastic =) I'll miss hanging out with you alllll..

是怀念的

2011-07-02T22:01:00.002+08:00

I tried to talk myself out of it. Evidently it had not been of any use. Thoughts still haunt me. Shopping, movies, exercise, music did distract me, not for long duration unfortunately. Ever consumed a drug unwillingly? It's a really small matter, as insignificant as dust. However, the annoying characteristic of dust stayed put. It was everywhere, invisible yet visible, and every time i seem to stop thinking about it for a while, dust comfortably settles down, builds up, and becomes more obvious by the seconds, minutes, hours. Annoying much as it doesn't really matter, yet in its unique way it does. Saying that it hurts is a lie. Convincing myself that it doesn't hurt is yet another lie. It just a little jab. Not unlike the twinge of a thorn. I should start to pile loads of activities. Staring at nothingness hurts more. =)

Getting used to . . .

2011-06-30T17:21:00.004+08:00

July is a whole new month. A month where I have to get used to lots of things. Staring at the relatively blank laptop screen, touching my tablet aimlessly, feeling the drought of the mellifluous little things, patching up loose spots, tying knots, and moving on. Trying to empty myself with belligerent thoughts and be in peace. College chapter has come to an end, hanging on to the insignificant yet highly sentimental memories bring me comfort yet its a drug. I must stop revisiting them and lamenting about loss time. A month void of that would bring me up, standing on land again, not swaying with the rhythm of the ocean, of which you command. Emotions and time will not be tied by the wind you brought upon and I will be a hawk, or something more impressive, soaring above, moving back to the inherent introvert personality of mine, much more independent. Easier said than done.

Today , the last day of June. Feeling depressed is an exaggeration, but I'm not exactly happy nor sad. It is like balancing on a thin strip of straw, and being tethered to something unpredictable. Nightmares had plagued me, not as scary as they were before, but they drained me of energy. Feeling guilt as I see the clock ticks away, and head towards the phone. Being so unmotivated is so unlike myself and it scares me. Where was the drive to do something bigger than myself?Where was the passion to read? and i shall stop asking these rhetoric questions.

It amazes me. How somebody can be so strong in facing death. Blaming nothing. Not God, not friends, not teachers, not family. Embracing the facts as it is, being so brave and having such a big heart. He shared, cried, grieved, and hopefully the bigger part of him can move on, as I know a part of his heart has been left behind, and I pray that his family finds peace.

A song that keeps playing in my head.

Air supply. Making love out of nothing at all.

I know just how to whisper And I know just how to cry I know just where I find the answers And I know just how to lie I know just how to fake it And I know just how to scheme I know just when to face the truth And then I know just when to dream And I know just where I touch you And I know just what to prove I know when to pull you closer

And I know when to let you loose

And I know the night is fading And I know the time�s gonna fly And I�m never gonna tell you everything I gotta tell you

But I know I�ve got to give it a try

And I know the roads to riches And I know the ways to pain I know all the rules and then I know how to break�em

And then I always know the name of the game

But I don�t know how to leave you And I�ll never let you fall And I don�t know how you do it

Making love out of nothing at all

Making love Out of nothing at all Making love Out of nothing at all Making love Out of nothing at all Making love Out of nothing at all Making love Out of nothing at all Making love

Out of nothing at all

Everytime I see you, well the rays of the sun are all Streaming through the waves in your hair And every star in the sky is taking aim at your eyes Like a spotlight The beating of my heart is a drum and it�s lost And it�s looking for a rhythm like you You can take the darkness from the deep of the night And turn it to a beacon burning endlessly bright I gotta follow it �cause everything I know

Well, it�s nothing �till I give it to you

I can make the runner stumble I can make the final block And I can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle

And I can make all the stadiums rock

I can make tonight forever Or I can make it disappear by the dawn And I can make you every promise that�s ever been made

And I can make all your demons be gone

But I�m never gonna make it without you Do you really wanna see me crawl ? And I�m never gonna make it like you do

Making love out of nothing at all

Making love

Out of nothing at all...

Oh, and what are words by Chris Medina =)

Bangsar Village

2011-06-27T23:23:00.003+08:00

So peeps, I've been to Bangsar Village for the first time! Jakoon okay fine.

Pretty good I must say. Coffee Bean, Starbucks, Boost, and even THE LOAF. jeng jeng jeng. Pleased to report that the original cheese cupcake is better than the one from pavillion. Definitely delectable =)

Of course, posh shops must be expected, albeit not as sky high as pavillion or gardens in general.

Depressed that most outlets cater for middle age, as they have higher spending power ?

SO , we headed out to the boutiques.

Mirror, Sometime ... etc etc..

Pretty affordable.( super grin... )

Bought some dresses and a bag ( similar to the one from Jaspal. Imagine my glee )

A big bummer is that I've ran out of cash, and I'm not shopping with my mum.

The ATM machine decided that my card is too lowly to be accepted ( nonsense of course ) , but no money =( *supplementary credit card would be awesome*

It is a huge hiccup on the crest of my otherwise pretty enjoyable shopping spree. Perhaps working in a boutique is the way to go ?

* vigorously nods... ponders.. head droops.. doubt so*

Ah.. that's it for now . so layzee :P

Job

2011-06-21T11:16:00.002+08:00

I need a job. Need to get something done before boredom creeps into my brain and create a permanent void. That said, inability to commit is a major obstacle. July month is scattered with activities. August is relatively empty but it is tough to intern for a month! I need some suggestions. Perhaps flipping through sloman Is a good idea,but where does that place me? Reading up about investment then? Or just proceed to the fourteen books recommended in my fresher pack? These do not sound convincing,nor a solid way to up mY game. Laudable attempt perhaps. On the brink to my twenties, I know that holidays are not meant for fun only, it is for me to recollect myself, brush up my skills and be a better or more informed citizen. Growing up takes most of the fun outta me. Sobs. But slacking would cause a greater disequilibria. Oh, I digress. So, getting a job is seemingly impossible. I just have to make most out of my holidays.

So random !

2011-06-18T20:50:00.002+08:00

Ah. More blogging from me since I have more free time already.

So so addicted to animals neon trees. Hits replay. and replay. My family is probably ready to kill me soon.

Got a simple hair trim.

I wanna fill up my holidays !! Resisted the urge to fill it up before A2. Now its filling in time, I'll catch up with all of you =)) Friends are just awesome !

Biro tata negara -kewarganegaraan

2011-06-17T16:32:00.002+08:00

I am quite exhausted, rocking on the edge of unconsciousness.I'm not home from btn yet.
I must admit, I went to that camp with a prejudice, a tinted perception that it will all be about constitutions. Well I wasn't completely wrong. but! There were funny moments. The other 65 participants were awesome, smart and knowledgeable. Majority of them are medic scholars sponsored by jpa, followed by petronas and bank. Debates were endless, with no party willing to give in for the sake of giving in, whist being a tough nut to crack. Hours were spent debating about the priorities of a nation. That really opened my peepers. So that is the challenge of organizing your thoughts and conveying it coherently.... Decisions are hard to come by, and that is probably why parliament discussion often turns nasty. Given simulation of real life example, the 33 of us cannot come to an agreed approach al together. We weren't satisfied. That is such a small number. How can our government satisfy each and everyone of us? I often complain that the majority somehow override the wishes of the minority. Undeniably true. But by denying the greater number, does that bring peace and happiness to each individual? That really taken me by surprise.

Given the opportunity to mingle with people of different races, I now know the consequences of stereotyping and ignorance. We , or probably just me, used to write in essays about how we should understand each other more profoundly, but it is almost never applied in real life. A platform as such really allow us to talk in hope of acceptance, and that is the core of integration. Do not judge what we don't understand. That is true too. I have personally met great people from the camp, religion is not an issue! Lack of understanding is the thorn that most people are unwilling to remove, including me before hand. Playing up issues or allowing issues to agitate us is not wise, now I understand.

Calling me changed, transformed, whatever.. I know that it's for the best albeit not nodding to everything that was presented during the camp. The true bonding starts outside the formal activities, through dinner and supper, with calm and rational hearts.

Given the same question :
Should scholars/students go for btw ?

A week ago - no !!!!!! Such a waste of time. I have to wear white long sleeves formal blouse everyday, leather shoe, with 5 hours of sleep everyday??? Listening to constitution is boring, I dont need to know that to be successful. Reading up and taking an online test is sufficient. No need for succinct explanation for five long days!

Now - yes yes yes. We should go and embrace the camp with an open heart and mind. It was educational. Given the opportunity to question and learn. Facts, boring yes. But without facts, it is foolish to claim to be a part of a nation which I knew nothing off. So anyone who is reading this, do not shy away from this camp, given the chance. Absence of initiative bring upon the down fall of a nation. Live for the future generation too!

Angsty

2011-06-13T09:45:00.002+08:00

So A levels had come to an end. A moment that I had cherished. Vatful of memories to be treasured and stored in a special place. Feeling a bit sentimental here, as I felt a chunk of my life was harshly separated from me. Graduation is a happy event, but I feel an unending hollowness, where you just hear a dull thud in your heart. Not enough to stab or hurt that much. I have to admit, I do not feel the same way after graduating from high school because I know I'll still meet them often and life goes on. College however impact me in a such an unexpected way. I'll probably not meet them for years. For the majority of them, however, I'll get to hang out with when I drop by London for the weekend. Its still different. I used to hang out so much with you, him, her, them. Going to college to study even though we had nothing to do on that particular day. Sharing private moments. Those that we wouldn't share with strangers. Nonchalantly chatting and talking about nothing at all. I do miss those days. So much.

Leaving Malaysia, is another hard decision to make, but not one to be hurried as I still need my results. In approximately 60 days, I'll find out if I'll go to the University of my choice. Meanwhile I have to find a cause to occupy my 90+ days left in Malaysia. Ah, its pretty short if its dissected in this way.

Feeling completely useless and intimidated. I have no skills, talents whatsoever. I'll be content being a nobody, but I know I don't have a choice. Reacting to my friend's comment " You are NOT JOINING the orchestra in C?" . Well, yea..I'm not bringing my violin there. *smacks face*

Where everybody expects everyone else to be a genius. However, I am who I am. I'll make most out of it =)

P.s. This is not an emo post. I'm good. Heading for camp afterwards.

PROM

2011-06-12T00:21:00.004+08:00

Prom is the highlight of the year.

Definitely.

Everyone was dressed to the nines..

I'm going to attach some pictureeees =)

Janice, my make up artist. She's awesome and tall ( 180cm perhaps)

I will go back to her. For any events.

SHE IS GOOD IN HER STUFF. =D

Will not post a close up here.

Not forgetting, my hair. =)

Heading to JW Marriot was stressful. Traffic was terrible. I was freezing.

Then ... its registration time. Of course, fruit punch was readily available at arm's length.

The food. Mediocre.

We were there to party, and of course, taking pictures with everyone and anyone we know.

By the end of the night, flashes of light appeared from every corner of the reception hallway. Its pretty huge. Instead the ballroom/ dinner room was relatively empty. Majority went out, to take pictures ! How awesome was that !?

I will remember this night. To commemorate the graduation of my A levels program .

A night to hold dear to heart.

Last day of A2 ( tomorrow )

2011-06-09T21:54:00.003+08:00

Jeng jeng jeng jeng ~~~~~~ Pre-post. Can't wait. Itch I longed to scratch !!!

After 1.5 years, arguably the nerdiest phase of my life, I'm going to grow wings, and zoom * YES ZOOM* towards freedom !

PARTY PARTY ! FUN FUN FUN FUN ! oh yes. now I sound like a bimbo.

WHO CARES.

Exhilarating. I must say I find A levels challenging. However I believe that its not the toughest course on earth. Even further maths can be pacified ! Muddled and addled brain has been treating it as a human. One more paper to go and I'm there.

HYPOCRITE.

BAH.

go watch movies.

yay yay yay !

Post Econs Feelings

2011-06-07T22:23:00.003+08:00

After studying so hard and in depth for economics, finally I can let out a relieved sigh. Yes, its partially over. I went through the trouble, going too much in detail. I just cannot believe how much time I spent dwelling on Cournot model, Bertrand model, Says' Law. I must be impeccable ? Perhaps not.

Okay, academics aside.

Its one too many times that people commented how exploited I am. Incredulous claim. Outraged, yes yes yes. When one is told repeatedly, my believe starts to shake. Being a friend doesn't mean that I have to do everything and anything for a person. Its time to think of myself. Someone would have thought about that before asking me for favours. I shall not waste any reader's time by enumerating the benefits of thinking for yourself.

Say, if you had a leg up, and have a means to prevent someone else from being successful. Will you, by all means, keep those information to yourself?

Honestly, I would love to be selfish. However, some situations just do not allow that personal greediness to come into the picture. There are expectations from the perception that you will always be nice. Keeping to oneself sadly does not fit the expectation to be "nice". So, most people keep up the appearances, moi included, to always give and not take. Slowly, it might form a habit as of the case now.

Being a servant doesn't work in the long term.

Give me or leave me. Sadist. hahaha.

One more paper to go..

BTN time :(

Dreams

2011-06-01T14:42:00.002+08:00

A little bit trapped in a limbo here.

Some days just fling by and all I wanted to do was dream. Then reality splashes me in the face, in the form of slushie ( Gleek here ) , and tells me that you WANT to dream but you don't believe what you are dreaming. Perplexing. So I tell myself brusquely, reality is damning. Grudgingly, I haven't found my purpose in life, but I am a big dreamer about affinity. Whether its affinity towards a person, or subject, or cause. Being able to believe is something beautiful. Perhaps its time to recollect my thoughts and screw the lid properly till I breathe through the exams.

Brain Vs Heart

2011-05-26T23:13:00.002+08:00

Rational and impulsive.

Always the struggle between them. Ever feel like you know what you have to do, but your heart tells you otherwise? Its like being pulled in two different directions. Parents will nonchalantly point us towards the safer route, the rational one. Movies, songs or even, motivational talk always pulls us in, make us feel like we should follow our heart, what we want to do, aspire, inspire. Encouraging us to dream big, tread the unwoven path, create a new pathway to success. Take risks, embrace the uncertainties, reap the fruits. All of these, do you actually believe in them?

I used to, but now I would like my brain to lead the way. Letting my emotions getting in the way isn't the smartest thing to do. Unwittingly I've let my guard slip. Its only right that now, I rebuilt it stronger than ever. And I don't think that its a sad thing to do. I used to believe in fairy tales , but you think they exist? And no, this is not pessimistic, I'm just being realistic. Sometimes growing up is a pain, making us see things in a clearly defined way. I want it to be different. Here are some of the things I want

I want animals to be treated with kindness.

I want everyone in this world to be properly fed.

I want acid man to be caught.

I want all these calamities to end.

I want people to bond together, irrespective of age, race or religion.

I want everyone to love themselves, for being tall , short , fat , clever, stupid, everything.

I want humans to stop damaging the ecosystem for the sake of growth.

I want people to stop harming each other. No crimes, No strikes, No cruelty.

But then I'd be idealistic.

It dawned on me that most of the things I want will never happen. It would improve , definitely.

Completely ? I dont know.

Without evil, will there be good?

Without sadness, how will happiness be reflected?

I just need to meditate or something.

Splash Spish ?

2011-05-19T21:30:00.002+08:00

One random day.. Just feeling like writing something short here.

Well, who knows the movies are right?

Getting sloppy wet from the rain, while trudging through ankle high muddy water is really depressing. Well, walking alone contributed to the emo-ness of the whole situation.

Cold from the wind, lonely and always aware of the surroundings, in case some guy leaps out to kidnap me. WHO EVER KNOWS. Nobody can hear me scream in the howling wind with thunders booming. Water dripping from my purple bag, and i can feel the water sloshing down my calves. why sloshing. Easy : bag + skirt = lots of water. oKay, a little exaggeration here.

Its not a good feeling.

Luckily its not a permanent depressing feeling.

As soon as i showered, get some songs playing.

I feel good again.

Sometimes i wonder, and ponder..

Little things are so insignificant, but at the same time I feel like these little things are life.

And they make life significant.

How would you all categorize that ? =)

Narcissistic

2011-05-13T00:11:00.000+08:00

For some, loving oneself is an obstacle.

For many others, loving oneself is so natural.

I fall into the latter group of people.

I would say that facebook promotes this idea.

Some bloggers like to put counters, to indicate the number of viewers.

Some don't.

I've read from a blog, of which I am an avid reader,

that he feels that its pretty pointless.

Cuz we tend to convince ourselves that what we write is important and deserve to be read.

Lack of rational mind thereof leads us to believe that the alphabets that we've carefully crafted into words are more important what others wrote.

I find it true, but its really an open debate.

Its within our fingertips to announce to the whole world about

- what we're doing

- who we are hanging out with

- what "secrets" we're supposed to keep

But for me, this feels like.. the world has to spin according to the individual pace.

As if the spotlights should rightfully be shone on the individual at the first place.

Such attention is demanded.

Instant gratification ?

I have to admit that I, part of the Y generation do unfortunately ( or fortunately ) fall into this mind-boggling act.

Some people dissed self centered human beings, but I find that most people do love themselves very very much. We were taught to "live life, love life".

WHY should I give in?

WHY should I let you win?

WHY should I tolerate?

WHY should I be unhappy when I have the golden chance to TRY to be happy?

WHAT do i owe you?

and the list goes on.

As I've typed it out, you guys can be pretty certain these thoughts went through my brain before.

Did it always rule my decision?

I would say NO, not always.

But does it make me feel that I should deserve my happiness. HELL YES.

which leads back to the main topic.

Is this a good phenomena?

For me, no.. not at the current pace.

I believe that some of my many demands are highly irrational and emotional.

Perhaps ludicrous.

So, hmm.. yea. thats it for now.

My mum :)

2011-05-08T23:18:00.002+08:00

Since i've dedicated blog posts to friends before, why not for my mum?

Well, my mum is awesome !

Everyone loves their mum, no? Perhaps not everyone, but most i guess?

I was a stubborn little girl. Not really ambitious. Timid. blah..

My mum made me who i am today.

She decided that health is more important than travel time, thus the shift to kajang.

She sacrificed her time for the past 11 years or more, driving from kajang to KL for work, stuck in the hellish jam. People might think that its easy, but no its not a mere feat. She gave up her leisure and earns a living for us, the kids. Stress piling up, muscles protesting, she rarely complains. She provided us with love, care, and support. I wouldn't have the nerve to apply to top-notch universities if weren't for her guidance.

Although she rarely expresses her emotion, I know that she loves us very much.

We are her life, her goal, her aspirations.

I asked her about tuition. No problem she says. Guilty much. Tuition doesn't come cheap for a levels students unfortunately. Approximately RM100 per hour. For the sake of knowledge, she encouraged me to go and seek it out , understand, and have a strong grasp on it.

Apart from financial support, she knows and understands me so well, with her uncanny ability to sift through my mind. She often pushes the "wrong" button, HAH, to annoy me, with me frustrated for 5 minutes thereof. LOL, it gives her pleasure to see me blowing steam from my ears. At the end of the 5 minutes, I still love her.

So , happy mother's day.

To mothers every corner in this world.

I wish you joy and happiness.

For bringing a life into the world.

And carrying out the noble duty as a selfless mother.

and we children, shall never understand the act of giving,

until the day we become parents ourselves,

and laugh regrettably about the mistakes that we've done and repay them by being better parents I hope.

Life isn't fair, but with mothers, we children will always feel sheltered and loved.

Thank you =)

:)

2011-05-04T21:52:00.003+08:00

SHOUT OUT : Happy birthday dear dear jia en !

It feels sooooo good to talk to her just now.

I miss her so much :(

So fun to just talk about crapz and girly stupid stuffs without caring about whatever is thrown back at you, cuz you just love that friend that much.

Its actually funny, as we haven't contacted each other for quite some time, but we still crap like mad. LOL .

Blogging takes my mind off some things.

Oblivious much me ?

No , don't think so.

BIMBO me. The thought of lashing back is always so strong.

No. I should stop the toxic from soaking my brain and corrupting it on the way.

Why lah, i should not be so snappish.

Grumpy frumpy girl.

nonono :(

i must smileeeeee :)

stress is getting to me.

GO AWAY MOODY stress.

4 weeks left to prom :D ahhh.. positive thing to look forward to.

Then the quite "awesome" BTN camp for 5 days.. *ahhh...yeah.. received the invitation*

then Holidaysss..

whooooops :D

Untitled

2011-04-28T17:27:00.003+08:00

For good reasons.

I've been praying more lately.

Hmmm.. oh yes.. sometimes i am very religious..

I do pray daily but pious? maybe not as my understanding of my religion is shamefully little.

I hope that i have a bigger heart. and i pray that i can remove the tinted glasses that I myself created.

Humans are equal. I need to see that. But now although i know it as a fact, practically I cannot do it. =( I am still constrained by history, personality and characteristics of a person. I cannot separate myself from all these influence. It should not influence how i treat a person.

It should not x infinity.

But yet i do.

If my trust is betrayed, yes, i will never ever treat you the same way.

I was taught to be forgiving, be a loving friend, I am no such person. =C

Friends mean a whole lot to me, but I dont have a lot of them.

Friends for me :

Friends that i will help unconditionally.

Friends that i will not judge.

Friends that i'm sure of their noble hearts.

Friends that i will stick up for.

Friends that i will sacrifice for.

Friends that i will care for.

Friends that i hope will stay by me forever, no matter how long that is.

Friends that i will treat like family.

Perhaps that is what others call close friends.

But if i stay true to the path of honesty, I cannot make myself call some stranger "friend" as in reality we might have just spoken once and he/she is a "friend" in facebook, but if anything arises, he/she might not care. I cannot make myself call them friends. ( this is a super bad characteristic, one to be shamed )

So,

I ask myself.

Why do i keep my social circle so tight.

Why am i so comfortable with my current friends that i do not see the need to wander out and mix around.

Why am I such a social failure.

Why i stick to my principles so much that sometimes i do not forgo a crack.

And,

I pray and hopefully with some divine help I will see the way to rid myself of all these negativities.

Lastly,

With this post as a reminder, I will try hard to change =)

Now this is too much

2011-04-24T19:05:00.002+08:00

WELL WELL. the stalker hacked into my facebook account as well.

NICE RITE.

i know.

worst cyber week ever.

so please friends.

reset your security question or reset your password from time to time.

LOSING AN ACCOUNT IS NOWHERE NEAR FUN. I can assure you that.

Its frustrating, and an email is so personal to me that it is evidently a part of me.

SO PLEASE friends and strangers alike, link your primary email to other emails.

Use different password for everything.

There is no need for regret . " LOOK at ME.. shrill scream"

Set a tough password, use a tough security question.

Or if you are too afraid, just stop using hotmail/ yahoo altogether.

cuz according to a techie (my friend's bf) they are easily hacked.

I believe that thousands of accounts have been compromised.

SO, after surviving my worst cyber week ever.

I survived dialogue too.

It was slightly below expectation as i was expecting something more controversial and constructive instead of diplomatic discussions.

Nonetheless, our moderators did quite a good job in bringing those issues back into the light.

Lengthy answers with a sole point however did not help make the discussion as concise as it should be.

I do,sincerely, congratulate the organizing committee for pulling it through, and making it a success.

Thats all from me. 6 more weeks till i'm free from a levels.

hmm.. time flies .

I need to vent

2011-04-21T20:48:00.002+08:00

Please bear with me through this post. What delineated here will be full of frustration.

First thing,

the smart ass that freaking hacked into my hotmail account to send awful spam email.

THANKYOU. for removing almost all my contacts by effectively "alerting" the hotmail authorities to BLOCK my account. oh, did i say thank you already?

The thing is, i still have facebook , so my life is not totally gone, you know.

Yeah, and the validation thing. I'm super sorry that I have not taken the liberty to jot down those private details that i've keyed in 10 years ago. As a pathetic result, i have no recollection of my "secret" answer thereof. HAHA, laugh at myself. TOTALLY STEWPID.

This frustration has to be vented !

OKAY. positive side of this otherwise and obviously lopsided event, i get to create a new account. YAY rite? well , i'll let you guys know my new email if this validation process did not get through, which is yeah, likely.

2nd thing.

Out of nowhere, I'm getting this terrible sore throat. Infection likely.

DUH, of all weeks.

I need to attend interfaith dialogue and now this?

How to have "dialogue".

DAI DIE and all the variations of that.

NO, positive thinking rite?? Well at least i dont get a chance to be put down by all the other amazing participants.

yeah.

talking bout participants, they are sooooo talented/ good in academic.

I'm talking bout top in the world, top in malaysia, scholars, potential GIC scholars (4th stage!), super mathematicians, and most of them are not at all nerdy.

My english sounds like a child beside them .. Exaggeration of course, but intimidated much.

For those who assumed that they are "bananas" , some are, but lots aren't.

3RD THING

I AM FEELING STEWPID.

its till a point where i feel like pouring effort doesn't bring a equal return.

well, if IQ is in born, i guess thats just the limit for now.

but, i'm not going to give up !

Gandhi- we must be the change we wish to see.

yes yes yes!

frustration still here.

food therapy?

NO, sore throat now.

no more complains already.

*huge sigh*

Exception

2011-04-16T12:01:00.002+08:00

Once again. I've made an exception for misswhjp .

*SHOUT OUT* terima kasih.. thank you.. for listening to me rant. If not my anger will pulverize defenseless victims. so Ahoy , the savior. I'm going too far here =)

SO naw naw.. what to update about my life?

Well holidays are definitely relaxing.

I'm going to move on to a relatively new chapter of my life.

Well actually its just a change of surroundings.

I still stick to my same-old friends.

For no other reason, other than they are worth sticking around =D

time flies =S

I'm dreading the day.. when i have to leave my home

roughly 5 months left..

So fassssss...

And i've already started to fill up my holidays after june..

trips.. camp.. exhibition.. ( unfortunately it clashed with camp, choose choose? )

one thing i've read during the holidays ( ITS NOT A NERD BOOK)

DREAM is the way to go.

we must be ambitious enough to dream, then we will take ourselves there.

The passive way of thinking is " where this will get us by 2015"..whereas "where i want this to take us by 2015" shows more of a proactive role.. then conscious effort will be poured into making it what WE want, not what we accept.

All of these, from Mohammad Yunus' book.

He said that

POVERTY SHOULD ONLY BE SEEN IN MUSEUM.

SOCIAL businesses should be built after cementing strong framework.

Profit maximizing is NOT the only way to go.

SUSTAINABLE lifestyle is not a habit, its a prerequisite to survival.

etc etc.

He sends a very strong message out there to ignorant people like me.

DREAM BIG. then we can see what we wanna see.

Decades ago, everyone will say that you're crazy for wanting to go to the moon.

Well, humans dream, and made it.

so what makes removing poverty all so impossible?

so, I've been rethinking of my decisions in life. I've chosen to follow the conservative way to success. Good foundation, good university, good job.

but success is not a goal, its my journey.

and I dont wanna be successful in terms of monetary rewards.

Looking deeper, I want to do something meaningful everyday.

But for now, I've chosen my path.

I will move forward. Strive to achieve the academic results required.

But most importantly, be happy and content. =)

Random destress blogpost

2011-04-07T18:38:00.002+08:00

AH. Nice to spill out the pent up emotions. via humble characters.
my conclusion for a levels exp further maths.
I never ever feel so stupid in my entire life, and i did study . ALOT.

Some people say IQ are in born-ed. Who needs luck then. a modicum will do.
I digress. Luck is a major factor in succeeding.
I've heard that a girl , top girl in school, failing to secure offers to top universities.
LUCK do play a role. big time.

EQ on the other hand, i believe, can be honed.
I'm almost 19, and I want my maturity to be of that level.
Polishing polishing. long journey to go.

___________________________

YU HUA
It beholds a vatful of memory. Some sadness entwined with joy !
I am always proud to tell everyone.
I'm from a small town, kajang. I graduated from Yu hua, but you've probably haven't heard of it.
I would love to be representing yu hua. anytime.
Its a pride.I'm sure many of the few who are reading this post would understand.
It was a home. It was good, filled with blissful memories. It made me grow. It made me understand. It offered me opportunities.
Whats there to be "unproud" of ? it would have been perplexing if some others disagree.

To bring this really short post to an end.
I'm going out out out out.
Food therapy, retail shopping therapy. Its all in the list.
I wanna catch up with my loved ones.

BEWARE. UN- NERD- DI- FY- ING.

haha. lame . die.

what a surprise

2011-03-28T03:42:00.002+08:00

Its crazy that i'm blogging... which seems like an onerous task right now.

Well well... if it isn't palpitations again...

If i ever suggest any form of caffeine.. please.. dutifully... or..mercifully remind me of this tragic blog post.. which has no particular message at all.

Being a full fledged nerd isn't all that boring.

My life concerns books and just purely that.

But its really simple.

I just have to squeeze every single drop of brain power.. and translate it into letters and numbers.

easier said than done of course.

and i'm actually enjoying it.

sanguine sanguine homo sapiens.

all these calamities make me wonder why i'm so engrossed with studies.

getting into top u? pfft.

somehow it seems insignificant now.

wait a minute ..

no..

i still wanna work hard.. =D

okay. i shall attempt to lie on my warm bed....

which had tolerated my tossing for 3 hours already.

Done

2011-02-14T21:46:00.003+08:00

At some point of my life, if someone have nonchalantly suggested that i close my blog i would have cringed with doubt.

However this seems like a plausible decision now.

I've become a more private person..

Even my roommate comments " you keep a lot to yourself huh"

Yes, I do.

Sometimes its not a secret. perhaps its just a feeling.

But thats what i've become.

Not that i regret who I am right now.

Dwelling more on this subject, even if someone casually asked about the stuffs i kept to myself, I wouldn't know how to answer it.

Not because i'm devising a fool-proof lie.

Its just.. I have nothing to say.

Is it a shame?

For me its a blessing.

Albeit some might think its not, but from my perspective it is .. at least in disguise.

Whats more to share to the internet world?

I ask myself.

Drawing no answers. I must say this is a question left unanswered for me.

Speaking from different dimensions / altitudes.

On my perhaps minute leap to my last teenage year, there are times that i longed to share news.

Good or bad.

Speaking with a lighter tone,

I must studddddy harrd.

hah ! now that sounds more like me.

NERD-issssh.

yealah, i wanna be a nerd.

TILL i finish A2.

After that MAYBE i'll join my classmates to club again.

In my small and insignificant opinion, clubbing kind of sucks.

BUT, if its smoke free + NOT SANDWICH-ish..

I know I will love it !

ah.... lets hope I score for A2 okaaaaaaaaay???? =D

=college rocks=

JIA PING birthday

2011-01-20T16:20:00.002+08:00

SOrrrrry jia ping.
I'm here to blog about it now.
CHHEERRS.

Well, I wanted it to be extra special this year.
Who knows where everyone will be next year rite?
OKAY, so the angelic ME * the perasan* called for a major meeting via msn.
We came up with nothing the first day.
Then, Jack INSPIRED me. *nonchalant. not meeeee. okay, i'm partly quasi-evil. *
The theme is " MAKE HER MISERABLE"

So, we make her buy her own cake . LOL. *yes she super pek chek and wherng kena kena marah x10*
And drive herself to mewah club. HOW SAD rite.
We made her drive cuz we wanna wrap her car in toilet paper.
OKAY, now i'm pure evil.

Then we tricked her into thinking only the girls and wei herng are coming.
Lots of BLUUURPs and WHOoops and the whole lie was on the verge of unraveling.
Luckily I managed to lie on the spot without looking too suspicious.
Wei herng too !
but the others were almost raring with excitement and of course, the funny face we made when we tried to LIE normally.

AND THUS ITS NOT EASY . WTH.

Then she asked me using a super cute face.
"yuin, why you choose friday night? everyone else is not free "
DAMMN, no lie prepared for this.
" ERrrr, thats a very good question"
Thats the best I can do, DONT COMPLAIN LA ppl. *kang zi laughing like mad already during this stage*

Then of course, the task wasn't done.
The guys were Toilet paper-ing her car while we ordered her food.
and they bought whip cream.
forrrrrrr... spraying her and her car!
CHAM laaaa, her hair is filled with cream streaks.
YIKES !

But in conclusion,
the BDAY bash was awesome.
OKAY, except the guilty part where she has to wash her car during midnight.

THANKS MY COMRADES.
we made the "surprise" succesful.
OPERATION JIA PING = DONE =D

Mowing the Lawn

2010-12-21T12:38:00.003+08:00

I'm here to update.
Courtesy of Miss.Jia Ping.

So after a week long holiday with college mates * which is superb btw *
I texted Jia Ping and asked her out on a date. MUAHAH, yes its a date i dont care.
So off we go to MidValley after having lunch at Yuzu *aka my parents fav japanese restaurant. According to them, Zanmai is automatically disqualified*

We didn't buy much stuffs.
But I left one of my shopping bags at Vincci Accessories.
Embarrassing much.
Thanks to my sister who was feverishly buying stuffs from Uniqlo, and called to me to reconfirm some items that my mum asked her to purchase.

Moving on,
Cotton on has some really cheap shoes.
ZOMG, we forgot to buy those !

But for me, the best purchase of the day is
FRUIT JUICE.
blended strawberries, peaches, mango and XX "i forgot"
I LOVE it =D *but its quite pricey. around RM14 +*

Went back home, and I was super excited.
Cuz my sis told me she bought my Xmas gift.
*BUNNY HOP HOP HOP*
bugged her till she agreed to let me open my gift early.
Yea, damn spoiler but I CANT WAIT.
so...

I shoved this in her hands and wait for my present ! super tak malu LOL.

SUPER SURPRISED.
She told me its Xmas Limited Edition proudly.
THANKS THANKS THANKS !
Then i told her back " MAC LIMITED TARTAN OKAY!?"
actually its much cheaper then her gift to me.
hahahah. but let me syiok a bit mar..
Nowadays the people keep using the term Limited Edition until its practically worthless.

OKAY, waiting for miss jiaping's arrival.
BYE! bUAI !

Dispel All Myths

2010-12-04T21:46:00.005+08:00

PAVILION

Okay, perhaps I'm just stupid, but I always thought that it was a posh place.
I dispelled the myth i created by going there TODAY.
Muahahah, but actually the stuffs there were pretty affordable.
They have the common shops
Topshop / Topman
Forever 21
Rauph Lauren
Mango
Universal Traveler
Padini Concept Store
Carlo Rino , Bonia
etc etc.

and of course, the top notch shops
Gucci
Prada
Coach ( I don't know where to categorize this since this is not actually a branded shop, but still, I guess its considered as one )

With so many temptations lying around within fingers reach,
Its amazing to find that I've bought NOTHING.
okay, goggles from speedo doesn't count * its freaking exp, Rm100 + for a pair - bloodshed*
There's this nice NIKE
Neon yellow . New arrival . RM 399.

STUNNING MAN. AWESOME SHOES.
I soooo wanna get it, but I just bought one a week ago. =C
and its still in the box.

And my "old" sport shoes doesn't qualify as old because its less than 2 months old.
Automatically, I'm disqualified to get a new one.
*the ultimate sadness*

Moving on....
M.A.C
the ultimate make-up shop Buahahahha.
Its having SALES !
5 brushes for RM250

Freaking worth it !
Body shop ones , 4 for rm 199.
I want to HAVE it IMMEDIATELY, and dad approved !!
"LOL- asking my sis to use her credit card. AND YES SHE HAS ONE. =_______+"
Being rational, I said no.
WHY - I want to see if I can get better brands later. LOLOLOL. and its just impractical to have 2 sets.

They even had lips / eyes / nail lacquer sets ( ranging from RM150-RM250 )
OMG . I'm drooling. MAC is super good in tempting people !
YES , I treat make-up like food.
Some people hate to put stuff on their face, saying that its fake and everything.
but if that's the case, VOILA, then I'm fake because I'm a girlish girl and I wanna look nice. =)

There there, all these said but I did not purchase it.
Awww =C

However !
MAC is overpriced in Malaysia.
In the website ( US ), the brushes are selling for $49.50.
Do the maths =)

UNIQLO
The frenzied buzzing about this place drove me crazy at first.
After paying it a well-deserved visit, what I can say that it deserves its popularity.
The clothes are affordable, trendy yet simple.

CUPCAKES
THe loaf.
Perfetto!
The cheese is melting in my mouth =D
齿颊留香！
The texture is amazingly smooth, and its not too cheesy to put you off.
TRY IT !
The only off point is its pricing.
Rm 3.20 for a cup cake.
The size is about the base of a 500ml water bottle.
But, seriously it's worth trying.

SnOWFlakes.
Its famous enough already =)
But for those who hadn't tasted one,
PLEASE GO AND HAVE ONE !
However i would recommend the SS15 branch because its not as crowded there =)

If i have time i shall edit the post.
CUZ ITS MISS EARTH on tv now.
Cant miss it.
I KNOW I"M THE GEEK

Ciaoz.
Au revoir.

Everything

2010-11-28T21:07:00.002+08:00

I tried to do everything to prevent my brother from walking the same path I did.
He chose and unfortunately for me, he went on a very similar path.
He asked me," Don't you want me to be XXX?"
and although i know it hurts him, i said that i'm not encouraging him to do so.
WHY
the million dollar question.

I've seen so much, and I hope it won't happen to him in school like that.
I really don't want him to be that person that I fear and despise.
I'm there to keep an eye on him now, but next year I won't be there for him anymore.
There will be hell of conflicts and I don't want him to a person who's inconsiderate at all.
I just have to pray hard that my brother is special and different.
I hope his head stays on his shoulder all the time.
I just worry about the path he chose.
Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of him for his achievements.

He'll get a Hell of a time at home.
Starters ,
the nagging.
Mum threatened and scolded.
During my time, she almost made my dad go to school to make a fuss of everything.
I caved in to her wishes.
She has our best interests at heart and I know that she is trying to guide us to the path she thinks right. She is a mother after all, and I love her =)

Lets hope that I'm wrong about this =D

中国之旅

2010-11-25T17:32:00.002+08:00

大家很惊讶吧！
我几乎都不打中文字。

今年呢，华语确实少说很多，更别说写文章，写一行字都已经很不错咯。
那这次用华文原因是

一不用就真生锈了
二刚从中国回来嘛

这次一去就旅游了整整九天，说不疲累是骗人的。
转机又转机，在飞机上至少过了10 小时，加上boarding等，其实才走了7天。

中国很漂亮，如缩小的盆景，放大的画。
历史, 古迹文化区保存得很好。当地土族（苗族）被政府规定住在原区，所以在凤凰古城（2000年历史）逛逛时，感觉很舒服，商业的感觉没那么浓。加上天气凉爽，去散散心很适合。

那里地就贵了。
一平方米就得卖上6000人民币，近市区的上万了。
肉食之类的不便宜。柴油更贵，一公升6.50人民币，有钱不一定加得到油。
一排队就是几公里。加一次油，只限100人民币。
但中国人民任劳任怨，生活一样过。

想考得驾照，得付上几千人民币。
想开巴士，得有五年驾驶经验。
不简单的。

在那里，最经典的名句是
“今天不努力，明天努力找工作”
挂在餐厅里，应该是让员工们看的吧。

重点来了，
中国人很爱国。
说道毛泽东，大家眼里就只有敬佩，就算献花得花上1000人民币左右，人民很愿意，
花排的满满的。
导游说，那里的人都叫X爱国，X爱民，X伟，X雄。。。。。。
虽然政府管制严厉，大多人民都很支持，觉得政府能养气几亿人民已经很不错了。团结56民族更了不起。最让人惊讶的是，他们非常尊重政治人物。

懒惰打字了，
上facebook可以看到一些照片。
也不多，上载太麻烦了，呵呵。

就此搁笔咯！

ROJAK

2010-11-11T23:46:00.002+08:00

LEsson 1 I've learnt :
Always check your passport expiry date before leaving for an overseas vacation.

KEY WORD : PASSPORT EXPIRY DATE

Okay, please make sure that on the date of travel , there must be an excess of 6 months before your expiry date.

Example:
If I'm going to Singapore in Dec 2010, my passport expiry date should be June 2011 ( At least ) .

Why the emphasis:
My aunt booked a tour to Korea. Its freaking snowing there and THE SKI * Me want* but she was stuck here, in Malaysia, banned from flying because of this issue.

Conclusion : I've double checked my passport expiry date. 2014.
GOOD GOOD.
I don't have to renew before applying for Uk's Visa.
Double plus . woots =D

Lesson 2:
Do not train your dog under a window ledge.

KeyWORD: Dog, Ledge

Why the emphasis: I was training Jake to stand and turn, and he listened. And stood. AND hit his head at the ledge. Definitely hurt his little brain. Feel so bad. So I fed him his biscuit and massaged his head for a little while.

Conclusion : I will never do that under a window. But on the bright side, Jake seem to understand "back" and "front" . Back is just a simple point, Front is a beckoning gesture. And he stands while he does it.

P.s. I did not coach or train him to do so.
He only did it for FOOD.
In fact, he'll do anything to please you for his snack.

Lesson 3 :
Buy an auto gate with no vertical gaps that might hurt anyone/ anything.

KEY WORD: HURT

Jake the bravo beau dog, barked at some lowly cat * ah, the bias part. Don't reprimand me for that. Its like, if you claim you eat meat, but not bunny, does that make you a hypocrite? Bad analogy but still =D*
Anyways, he got his paw stuck, and howled.
Best thing of all, I was asleep when chaos erupted.

Conclusion : Jake just have to learn his lesson well. And not to be belligerent towards the gate.

Lesson 4:
There is always a choice.

KEYWORD: Choice

I've been watching "Merlin" the series avidly.
Some pretty good lines there.

One spoken by Gwen was
" There's always a choice, sometimes its just easier to think that there's none "
Standing ovation.

The plot is kind of boring sometimes, but its amusing.
Entertaining.
Watch the latest season, I think its better than the 1st and 2nd season.

Lesson 5:
Do not take a nap in the afternoon.

IM SOO FREAKING AWAKE NOW THAT I"M TYPING THIS POST.

*bow*

Thank you if my post is read.

A day in COllege

2010-11-08T22:09:00.004+08:00

Typical.

Just spend ALL my time in 1.1, studying physics with the BEST lecturer ever , MISS LIM.
She is super dedicated, and a fun person to be with.

So me and my roommie bought her Honey Milk Aloe toppings.

2010 June paper is seriously TOUGH.

Ghost Trappers

2010-11-06T22:24:00.003+08:00

My first blog for one of the greatest game of all time.
I'm exaggerating of course, but its a really fun passive game.

Its concept is really simple.
Get a trap, and a set of candles.
Get your bait.
And HUNT.
Once you've advanced and gain some xp, its likely that you'll get a pet.
Then equip it to help increase the stats of your set up.
There will be contracts to help to boost the set up you chose.

VOILA, the game is just as simple as that.

One of the ghost pictures.
AMAZINGLY CUTE.

LOL.
Some say that i'm impossibly childish.
But game is not equal to a child.
GROW UP EVERYONE AND HAVE SOME FUN.
NAAAAAH
my sister didn't understand "lamo lamo"
I guess that just proves my point =D

Nowadays

2010-11-02T18:58:00.003+08:00

NEW found love : Loreal leave on hair conditioner
- It kind of works, just a bit oily
- but the thing is, it WORKS and it is priced reasonably.
- i got it for RM 26.80
- awesome price, awesome products

Most memorable event of the day : FACIAL
- It seriously hurts
- I did it at Saujana Impian
- TRACI to be precise
- Its good =) VERY good
- just I am transformed to a red faced tomato girl for a couple of days
- I always swear to myself that I will do my best to take care of my face, but forgotten after a few days.

YUMMIEST thing i had all day : ICE CREAM
- Since 31st oct just so happen fall on a Sunday, so I went out to grab a couple of quarts =D
- Hey, its not a sin to stock up.
- Multi-flavors in the fridge. GREAT !

THINGS i have to do : DRIVE
- Going to drive back to subang

Random things i want to do : Make Sushi =D
- Gonna buy stuffs from 100 Yen

Craziest thing done in 2 weeks : SHOPPING
- Gone out continuously, covered 4 shopping malls in 2 weeks
- Ironically, got nothing but a top and skirt

Most embarrassing : Sleeping
- While my friend dropped by to pass me a letter
- That is VERY embarrassing as i heard my kakak yelled for me
- AND my friend left before i got up

THATS ALL FOR NOW =D

Rajin

2010-10-29T21:52:00.003+08:00

I'm actually making a consistent effort to keep this blog updated.

A picture from some time ago.. welcome to FAR FAR AWAY..

Quite a fun day, chillaxing
watching movies with roommate and classmate.
quite fun actually.
then hanging around without an aim.
until i saw my shirt, which has this lace pattern on another dress.
totally the same design.
*what the HELL?*

then i walked around, and found out that it is a trend to wear that now.
okay, lucky i got to wear that FIRST.
it will be awkward when the street is filled with people wearing the same design.
and that is exactly why i stopped using one of my big purses * read handbags*
it just clashes.
and lucky i got to use that first too.
so now its so under utilized as it is not used and lying in the cupboard.
and its leather.
good leather.
shall take it out after the fashion dies off.

I wanna buy these perfect woolly leggings.
found one for 70 bugs.
not exactly worth it.
but so tempting...
omiGOSH
i need a yellow nail polish too !

crazy lah.
i'm just using shopping to feeeeeel better
and the fact is
I FEEL BETTER AFTER SHOPPING
even thou its just window shopping
so i don't have to pay to feel better
super plus point =)

rambling on will do human's eyes no good.
so ciaoz
au revoir.

Some things to BLURT

2010-10-28T12:02:00.002+08:00

OKAY, I'm not a philanthropist, i just admitted it.
I'm a tough nut to crack when people just start to tell me about helping people in poverty.
The idea of micro-finance used to awe me, but now I just don't think its that important anymore.
For me, women rights should be given more importance
okay, some will scream at me this minute telling me "poverty is related to women rights"
but for those who scream, are you sure ?!
women are being oppressed every single day.
and still women worked harder but still being paid less.*check out globalissues.org to find out these facts.*
it doesn't happen in poor countries only. it happens in OECD countries too.

then the other thing,
ANIMALS.
tigers are almost extinct, the number of 95% lesser since people first counted.
is that a side effect of globalisation?
NO IT SHOULD NOT BE.
imprisoning tigers, eating tiger parts for health.
its not right people.

then the argument,
so why do you eat chicken.? aren't it the same as tigers.
well, i presume people know that chicken are bred for food, some couldn't survive in the outside world anymore. and. chicken is going to be extinct yea?
HELL NO.

okay, now to zoos.
do not visit zoos, do not bring your GROWN UP children there.
i'm sure i will not do that.
why imprison animals there.
its RIDICULOUS.
put them in reserves.
if I want to see them, I would ride in a cage like truck, and go inside a reserve whatsoever.
its just not right to keep them inside a confined space and try to imitate their habitat.
its almost pathetic.
well , its PATHETIC AND OBNOXIOUS.
they deserve to be in their natural habitat, the forest, the antarctic *polarbears, penguins*
even if they are in danger of being eaten by larger predators so be it.
by feeding it we are making them a domestic pet,
they will not be able to fend off predators of live in jungles anymore.
is that what people want?

Underwater world- like in singapore or langkawi is more tolerable. Because they get to roam free instead of being in a tank.

Should that be done for animals/ mammals too?
Think about that =C

updating is healthy

2010-10-27T20:10:00.002+08:00

Don't want people to lose track of my life here.

took this picture some time ago.
Pretty interesting.

Life has been pretty normal lately.
If you consider watching ghost whisperer like mad is a normal thing and not paranormal.

I'm running out of shop-for-new-stuffs-time
My to-do-list i swear, is getting longer

But i just went shopping, and did not get anything.
well nothing is not really accurate, just not a lot of things.
but fall is really not my season.
with aplenty of boho, blacks and browns.. hmm..
i don't think i want too much of those.
cool winter boots are a pain in the ass.
its NON-existent.

Okay, so I'm going back to my lovellly books.
3 weeks to go.. 1 week of vacation, 3 weeks of class, and another week of vacation.
*yippies*

=back to the books=

Summary of the week

2010-10-24T22:06:00.003+08:00

OKAaay, time to update.

Thinking skills exams has been okaaay i guess.

Then I went for the Cambridge interview.

Freaking cool and kind of intimidating in some ways.

It surpasses every interview that i've been.

It tests your brain. how you think, how fast you think..

I'm lucky if i'm considered.

The thing is the interviewer will ask questions from something that you know, then slowly increase the depth of it. and its kind of LEARN ON THE SPOT thing.

so i really really admire those who have made it, and i want it too =C

After the interview,

i had to sit for cambridge's assessment test.

NOT EASY

the first examination where i cannot finish at least 10 questions..

and i totally blanked out and just fill in whatever letters that came into my mind.

the second part was tougher.

hopefully i blab enough on it, as i only have half an hour.

I feel soooo drained out after the cambridge's interview and tests..

so of course it came down to shopping.

Bought some winter hats and my sister got a cool trench coat.

can't really get a good deal as winter is coming, so

we kind of dig through mango, espirit, dorothy perkins, wintertime, universal travels,

and found this one for her.

there was one really nice ITEM from wintertime.

and i eyed this really NICE cashmere trench coat

for a minute my mum really considered purchasing that as it was CASHMERE...

but its just kind of over the budget..

money don't just fall on the lap rite..

so it stayed on the rack.

Ah, more tests to come, and i hope i don't break down by the end of it as

VACATION IS COMING.

________________________________________________________________

so enough about academic stuffs,

i'm quite happy with my personal life.

AMAZING roommate, SWEET house mates,

SUPPORTING college mates...

of course, LOVING friends and family.

DEFINITELY there are imperfections,

but that made me perfect in some ways.

i'm just human

why shud i be such a perfectionist !

LIFE is just a FAB lane..

and living each moment is important

just as typing this post is NOT wasting my time

when i'm supposed to study ..

Lame

2010-10-18T17:07:00.002+08:00

I'm going to be super lame as this is the theme of my post.

First up, I don't really know why i'm typing all this irrelevant things.
I need to study for AS

Secondly, WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING HERE,
i need to prepare for an interview

THIRDLY, i just need to sign off.

Miraculously , I dont feel the urge to buy like mad
" HAH, even thou there's a topshop sales some time ago"
1 Utama just came out as b l a n d .
TRY me, i went from low range shops to high range shops.
and i just got a VERY VERY worth it skirt and a top.

I kind of like FM tuition.
CHallenging, like "boom boom BOOM" and you can literally hear the brains squirming,
squeezing out some knowledge juice.
2 hours felt like 4 !

ah, a decent length post finally.

- la m e =

Random blog post

2010-10-08T23:04:00.002+08:00

Just want to fill something in this quite dreadful blog.

AS are coming up.
*heart beats fast*
Really hope that i perform at my peak for this examination.
and eliminate all careless mistakes !

I have no time no time,
so much to read,
so little time left.

One very unique discussion between me and my roomate:
why did you choose to become an economist.
after my blah , she was like "hmmmm , INTERESTING, and burst into laughter"
and its not even close to funny, i guess i was being lame that moment.hahaha.
i admit i didnt give her a good answer at first,
leading her to think that econs is my last choice,
but she caught me pretty fast. =S

A debate that caught my eye
should development continue or stall?
A very challenging one indeed.
if a country "exp developing country" are not developing,
more and more of the environment are going to be sacrificed as they cant move on to produce sevices / manufactured goods.
they will rely on minerals and production of woods etc.

on the other hand, if a country is allowed to grow in expense of environment,
the country might be able to be more proactive in protecting the environment as its people have filled their belly and have the ability or more precisely the choice to support these issues.

So its not a choice to stall, every country wants higher GDP.
but the transition to a more advance economy that place higher importance in environment is not happening quick enough.
trees are still under-valued.
forest around the size of england are being cut down every year, although at a slower rate.

All in all, REDD's action in preserving trees are really commendable.
and i have to sleep "damn random, au revoir"

FEeling DUmb and Blue-ish

2010-10-06T17:13:00.003+08:00

Have the feeling that you are so dumb compared to the rest of the world?
HAH, that is what i'm going thru right now.
I feel so inadequate, knowing nothing about QE whilst it is the biggest news right now.
PATHETIC.
I do NOT know about sovereign debt crisis and global financial crisis with depth at all,
yeap, austerity measures vs stimulus package.
but debate on it??
- i dont think so-

Throw me a question,
say
what is the interest rates in EU right now? -blank stares- *after research its around .5 percent
in malaysia? - Hell IDK.

I was too ignorant of global issues in form 5,
whilst it is an important year to get started on the field i wanted to get on.
form 5 is not early, its late..
i've eschew from current issues then, but now,
I just can stare myself in the mirror and mouth silently : "serve you right"

These discussions are invigorating and mind chewing,
but intellectual debates make me more affirmative of certain opinions, or hints me to discard certain wrong solutions before.
I just need to rant, and feel stupid for awhile.

I know I will buck up and challenge myself.
Losing is an option, but conquering myself is not.

Life is a heck of a climb, and I am rock-climbing, accelerating.
Nothing is ever too early.

The desire to Travel

2010-09-25T23:06:00.003+08:00

Bah, has been going thru some webpage about Nepal.
Surprisingly, it is BREATHTAKING

Argh, the scenary is sooooooooo mind boggling.
the tour is around 4k + i guess.
cross my fingers and hope I can go after AS exams.
a great replacement for Turkey !

Just Me

2010-09-24T23:15:00.003+08:00

By far the toughest essay to write is " ME / MYSELF " for me.

So, I shall make a feeble attempt to provide insights to who I am.
At least who I think I am.

Skipping the introduction,
I'm horrifyingly lazy , and most people just don't believe it. I spend a lot of my time indulging in dramas, series or even lame movies. I could just plop my fat ass on the chair and watch movie a whole freaking day, which makes me more of a nerd. Talking about nerd, I am a very nerdy person I guess, I have not sipped a drink with alcohol, nevertheless not DRUNK ever. Being attracted to bed, its a mutual affection, not one way traffic okay? No No to raw food either, so I don't really enjoy japanese food as others. Yea, I'm just a typically chinese chinese person and I think like an Asian, typically risk-averse. So, I'm not that kind of super adventurous person who would eat worms or local delicacies. I suck in sports, a lot.

The weird thing about me is that I care more about animals than humans. This is very pathetic. I can think of people dying in poverty and animals die due to hunger. I will feel worse knowing that animals die because of human activities. My thoughts are such that humans can at least defend themselves, they can speak , they can judge. What can animals do? Wait to be slaughtered ? tortured? loved? All to be wait ??? I'm super pissed with some verdicts where owners that torture their pets just have to pay a mediocre amount of money to get out of trouble. what the HELL? Can I torture you and pay a fine? Why is it so unfair that humans that are tortured gain more publicity than animals that are tortured. Okay, facts 101, mice are forcefully born in labs to grow cancerous tumours, that will put them in freaking PAIN until they DIE. Rabbits are used in test labs for eye drops until they go BLIND. what is going on in this world? Do we really HAVE to test on animals? REALLY? Homo-sapiens are so dumb that we couldn't test these things without sacrificing animals? I do agree that some medicines require some "contributions" by animals, but this has to be stopped at some point. Animals do feel pain. They know. I can go on and on, but I shall stop here. LOL.

I guess I'm not easy to be understood. Again, as a typical Asian, I muddle through problems instead of facing them face on sometimes. And most of the time, personal opinions are not to be shared to the public.

I do love my family and friends a lot. I am just not the person who texts someone randomly just to chat. I do have a tendency to keep to myself a lot, which is NERDY again. I will do something about the NERDY part, I need to grow up. I'm freaking 18, I need to act like a decent 18 year old. Random, bash and loud, sharp, FUN, perhaps mean? just kidding.

BAH, I'm just being lame today.
A nice way to spend my time while waiting for gossip girl season 4 , epi2
see the NERD?

YARRR

Whoooohooo

2010-09-14T21:47:00.003+08:00

Sinful delight,
Satisfying results =DD

okay... stop !!

Jumps jumps,
in a hyper good mood =)

reason 1
meet up with my darlings !
just crap crap and crap..
nothing intimidating, nothing out of the bounds,
just talk =)
my dear dear's hair grow damn long already. *a face of incredulity*
noooo , i envy the life there at kampar * sniffs, we build one here juga rite jia ping ?*

reason 2
results =DD

reason 3
i finally got hebe's album *satisfying smug grin, HUH , I GOT IT already !*

just simple reasons to be rejoicing.
coup de grace to hunting album !

Spent a day at home doing what?
playing games, *BOOMZ*
wrapping my books * i still have LOTS AND LOTS to go but i ran out of paper*
reading books too.
if any of you guys are free, just pick up a book by Muhammad Yunus, a nobel peace prize winner.
Definitely worth a read if you haven't gone thru one before,
I'm still halfway~~~~~~
____________________________________________________________
In hebe's album, i particularly like this song
<我对不起自己>

one part of the lyrics sounds like this

爱给了我什么没沉沦就超脱爱不能伤害我还是我没爱过

我没做错什么却把一切都错过你是爱不起我我也对不起我

very cleverly written,
nice work !

arrh.. yea yea. i'm biased =D in a good way

________________________________________________________

Life is cool and fabulous !
gonna torture my economist magz to sleep today..
"from asian to global financial crisis" shall stop until tomorrow =DDDDD

I'm trying to do something beneficial during the holidays akin "more hardworking people"
amidst all the distraction,
no wonder i fail,
miserably =P
but gladly =)

A page bout the FAce

2010-09-12T14:55:00.002+08:00

I've been spending a lot of time watching youtube videos about make up tutorial.
so I've decided to write a LONG summary here.
for those who are not interested about make up stuffs, time to X the page =D

Face
Before putting on anything, wash your face, tone it, and most importantly
moisturize it .

-personally i'm using a huge variety of products.
I'm using Nu skin as cleansing products, various toners *non specific* and dermalogica's day cream.
it has spf 15 *if i remember accurately* and its tinted.
so its a double plus.-

Then put on a base, then concealer and then foundation.
some might prefer to use bb cream, but i dont like it at all, it makes my skin breaks out,
but it works for others, so , i think its totally personal.

- i'm using mac's base, concealer and foundation. I dont have all the codes with me here, but honestly, i think that base is very very important as it protects the skin from other make up products. I've heard about many other brands of concealer that is good. just go for the ones that gives you the coverage you need. =) i prefer powder foundation while my sister uses liquid foundation from shu eumura *i cant spell it right* , once again, its PERSONAL choice-

Blush
Some people like rosy cheeks, some like bronze coloured cheek.
i would say go for the palette type with a range of colours.
usually they have highlighters, earth tones bla bla..
the one i'm using is from body shop but my sister once again got her one colour blush from shu eumeura * different spelling again*.. but i think that silky girl is actually not bad. cheap, nice and affordable !
For applying , go search in youtube as i'm not really good in it.

Eyeliners
you are on your own cuz i cant do eyeliner.
failure much.
yes yes.
but there's typically three types
pencil , gel , liquid.
all preferences la!

Mascara
I'm still trying out brands.
not good at it.
=S

Eyeshadow
I'm using a lot of majorlica majorca,
i'm not really good in this too.

Lips
if you want a colour that is the same colour as the gloss ,* cuz sometimes it changes as we all have different lip colour*
so put a nude colour first, and then put on your gloss !
i've never tried this before, just saw this from somewhere.

but before putting on anything, apply lip balm , let it sink in, and do whatever you want with it.

My gosh, i realise how little i know about applying make up =S
cuz i usually use foundation only.
S= =S

but but , if anyone wants to learn how to do smokey eyes, natural looks, summer fresh looks.. etc

go subscrible juicy star 07's channel in youtube.
i think she's great =D

Rush trip

2010-09-06T00:23:00.003+08:00

Fraser's hill !
No pics yet, but its coming soon =D

Met up with my parents' friends.
Quite chill and fun =)

I'm actually blogging cuz i'm bored.
. . . .. . ..
see the points?
the dots?
okay. i've gotta stop lamo lamo.

I'm waiting night and day for album
oh my freaking long time !!!
It wasn't out yet when my sister went to hong kong,
so i've gotta wait !
wait !
and wait ! patiently for it. *which i'm OBVIOUSLY not*

Life is pretty easy going now.
Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing complicated.
Friends are awesome, family greater still.
My baby getting cuter by the day.
seriously ?! He eats peanuts without the *shell* part !
what ?! *whoa , seriously? YES YES YES*

I've gotta spend my holidays in a more meaningful way.
Instead of glueing to the computer for hours..
and i finished "seven ancient wonders by Matthew Reily" in 2 days..
Something has gotta entertain me, or the other way round !
Imma go out !!
Don't feel like going to the mall thou.. =C
doodle, dawdles,
*silent scream*
I need more activities to be CONTAINED !!!!
ps. I do have further maths work , but,
its holiday
hoooooooooooooooooli DAY*S*

the lamest thing i heard in this year is
" You think i'm bull shitting you? No ! I'm cow shitting you. But ! shit has no gender, so actually bull shit and cow shit has no difference =______________="

by my dad's friend.
patented and copyrighted by him.
LOL LOL

One of the most helpful family I've ever known.
-cheers-

signing off.

Guilt ridden--shopping

2010-09-03T22:17:00.003+08:00

GUESS what? I went out and shopped like 0_o,
Refuted what i wrote in the earlier post. =C

I just wore a turquoise dress, a zebra-ish cardigan
and went out for lunch at THE MINES,
who knew i can buy so many things there,
in ONE particular shop.
"elements"
Why, they are having sales now !
the super plus point is they have XS, which is great !!!
But i'm still skeptical about their quality, but I shall give them the benefit of doubt =)

Randomly skimmed through Kitschen,
not awesome,
definitely not for me. Its just not my season.
The only thing that appeals to me is a flowery skirt.
BUT, I did not purchase it.
Which reminds me of mng :X
whenever I see their price tags in pounds ..
I'll go GRRRRR
and go Ringgit Malaysia , appreciate , appreciate, APPRECIATE !!
Hopefully It touches Rm3.00 = 1 USD by the end of this year. *it hit a sky high of RM3.08=1usd , so i'm keeping my fingers crossed !!!*
*whoops, mac will be cheaper ! a $20 gloss will be RM60 instead of RM 75, apple products will be cheaper too !!!*
and and and and !
Malaysia has appreciated against euro since the beginning of this year, for a whopping 25% *BIGGEST grin*
ME shall tour Euro for the next 3 years.

____________________________________________________________-

Tips from the star,
10 ways to get noticed.

First on the list is PASSION,
which i seriously think i'm lacking.
I've never ever put all my effort into a particular hobby / whatever
which makes me kind of pathetic in a way.
Yes, i'd like this and i'd like that,
yea, i'll dwell on in for a while,
but at the end of the day,
I've done nothing to secure my interest in it.

say i'd love reading?
what have i done to secure my affinity towards it??
although i know its the boon and bane of success, I've always taken it for granted.
going book shop hopping and buying books that i liked.
but if i look down inside, if given that i'm not blessed with the flexibility of purchasing a book, what will i do?

IDK iDK i dk

so lost so lost.
but i know one day i shall develop my passion for SOMETHING.
and that something will be SOMETHING that i will cherish forever =D

I need MORE stuffs !

2010-08-28T21:36:00.002+08:00

Just as the title above,
I NEED MORE STUFFS.

But then, i'm not really pumped up to shop.
okay, now everyone can officially whack me.

First reason of all,
Insufficient cash !

Second reason,
I'm not inspired to shop..........
Right now its summer trend= flowery dresses + girly lace
I already had one *now looking back not so worth it* dress from nEXT
i wouldnt want to fill in my closet with flowers aint it?
the WORSE of all point of this dress, i didnt get to wear it during "summer"
its actually in HONG KONG, with my sister.

Third reason,
I need to freaking lose some weight.
Stubby is just the right word now.
*ps. i'm not anorexic or bulimic*

Fourth,
I'm not allowed to purchase any forms of BAG which includes

TOTE
PURSE
SLING

whatever girls include in the category of bag.

FIfth,
I need to go to IKEA to purchase a super cute accessories cupboard before everything goes missing. and i neeeeed a pencil from harvey norman !!
But, i dont really think its worth it.
double edge sword !

Sixth,
I dont think that i need that many clothes.
or products.
or make-up that i dont really use.

*grumbles*
my brother's watch was actually much more expensive than mine.

I guess that is all the reasons i have for not going out to shop.
not to mention I'm actually sitting for trials.

- I went through some provocative pages on facebook. totally suitable for isa, i wonder why its so safe there, untouched. I am so tempted to report. I salute tunku's great granddaughter for being so forward thinking. A great resemblance to her great grandfather indeed-

- I thought i was spendthrift but imagine my surprise when my roomie can spend around 200 on a dress. Her dream trench coat? MNG BUT dont get her wrong, she is totally nice and she just splurges on the stuffs she really loves.-

- I'm so hooked to cooking at my apartment. It really takes off the stress. and the sense of accomplishment. ALOHA fun !-

SHow

2010-08-25T21:24:00.002+08:00

Yeap, we both sisters are gonna trump over, just beware !
LOL, i've lost my mind.
But yea, i'm going to show you all what we're made of.

"Stand your own ground" is what I've learnt in this year.
True, rumors slay a person,
words cut through anything.
but stand your own ground everyone,
there is no compromising in what you believe in.
Its better to make enemies, cuz at least I've fight for something I've once believed in.
Its better to stay apart, when there is nothing left to say.
Nothing can turn things around,
but the true winners are based on attitudes, not altitude.
measuring one's success to another based on certificates or paper,
that is so shallow.

Why I'm rambling on and on?
IDK.
my mum always say that the world is round.
one day you're the top, the other day you might end up the bottom.
That's an attitude that I'm going to incorporate in my life =)

WHats the hot stuffs in my life now?
EXAMS
trials in fact.
. . . . . . . . .. . . . .
lets hope it passes quick.
think about it, in 12 months I'll be packing my bags.
in a good way of course.
Life is beautiful.
LIVE the fab style *beams*

Tho u g tS

2010-08-20T17:34:00.004+08:00

Well, this year, the idea of BIRTHDAY sank in.
Today was actually quite meaningful. It was small, private, and warm.
and i thank all the taylornians for it.

For the first ever time that i was caught off guard,
like totally off guard !
I didn't see that coming at ALL
IN a thousand scenarios !

Then i got a super cute card from my roomie, she's so cute !
It warmed my heart, like 100 Celsius.
She is awesome man !

But aren't ME boring or not, i'm stuck up at home ,
on my birthday !
why am i not out for dinner *or at least preparing for one?*
Well, i'm just a boring person.

- I prefer to stay home than take a first step to see whats clubbing like-
- I prefer to hang out with friends in a chilly manner, just playing some board games or anything-

well , i'm just so plain and ordinary, you could say.

But one thing for sure,
I miss so many people that was in my life last year.
Last year was pretty awesome, a blast indeed.
I miss the little note book the three of you wrote for me.
- but i won't open it today, in case i tear up or anything-
and another thoughtful scrap book that i wouldn't open anytime soon i guess.

Talking bout the three of them.
I seriously miss them.
* DO i miss my secondary life? no.. but I miss them*
THe way me and JE used to roam around the school, every day at 10 *our routine toilet trip*
our silly manner
our non stop talk
our just stupid lame jokes *but i still think its funny*
just so many small inside things that when i think of her,
my heart warms up immediately.
I miss her. A LOT LOT LOT LOT LOT !

Then jia ping,
she is the biggie sister, always telling me and JE off for our lameness
*sorry but we still are lame =C*
hahah, but something she loses control and join in, and it rocks man !
her handwriting was so "awesome",
dont get me wrong, its really really beautiful, just that sometimes,
*emhem, when we copy her hw, we cant really decipher it*
i miss the moment when we will ask her what she wrote !
oh yea, and her flu !!!
the tissue piling up.
her quite tight skirt !
her blur blur look when she didnt sleep enough ! * but she can tahan chinese class!!!*
She's an awesome sister, trust me, she will not backstab you.

THen wen hui,
the artistic one!
everytime we bully her to do moral !
her cursive writing !!!!
and the way she talks.
So freaking fast that other people take some time to comprehend what she said.
and her so cute missing tooth !
the way we recited moral the other way round.
the way she moons over choir.
=D

____________________________________________________________

Of course, as time run its course,
some parts has to fade out. to be in the background.
but right now, i do love my friends a lot.
whether its the 3-some *hahaah* friends from kajang, or the potato roomie at casa.
Friends are here to last.

Colours

2010-08-14T18:02:00.002+08:00

I went through my housemate make up kit.. so FREAKING cool !
She is not professional or anything, she just COLLECTS...
okay.. DOne RAVING about her tons of cool stuffs.

Exam is one week away, when you are living by days for exams, you know you are a gone case isnt it..
well i'm living by hours.. how about that !
STUDYING like mad woman, cuz i JUst realised its going to be accounted in my forecast.
If i dont do well this time, goodbye all my universities....

So i cant even celebrate my birthday properly..
suckish..
BUt thanks to my parents *who gave me my present like.. a long time ago*
at least i feel like my birthday is really coming..
but i dont wanna turn 18 * rants *
i wanna be a teenager ={

GOING to EXAMINE physics right in the face later.
i still have econs and maths to go.

who ever said A levels is easy???

Had A ..

2010-08-06T23:51:00.003+08:00

Hell of a TIME..

played with my baby today, he's so naughty as usual,
smack me right on my mouth with his weight lifting squeaky toy..
full with saliva..
imagine the eww factor..
i think you all get it..

I'm going to re-watch inception tomorrow......... *weehee.. yea.. i re-watch movies quite abit*

BUT, to ease my guilt, I'm going to hike tomorrow morning,
my aim is to tone up my body thou.. not lose weight =D
so my large intake of drinks after hiking can be justified (biggest grin)
its actually quite fun to hike with my parents.
I'm the lamp-post. quite the obvious one.
but i don't mind =D

Some parents disallow their child to be in a relationship in college, *my classmates going thru a big deal cuz of that*
but my parents are total opposites.
but sorry lah, i'm S but not A
dont get it the wrong way, its just that i'm not feeling like it..
and thankfully there's people(s) with the same mind-set with me.
see? Friends are for support. =D

I've been thinking,
and analyzing perhaps,
what would i do when my kakak leave me to go back to Indo?
*put aside the factor that i'm not going to be in msia *
This arise when my roomies maid went back to Jawa, she's very heartbroken, always tears up about that.
I understand how she feels, cuz her maid is practically her nanny too. from 2 months to 16 years old? not easy.
so what would i do?
-dwell in depression~~~ but i'll stay in touch with her- * i guess so *

*wonders*
i dont know what to type!
LOL,
okay.
requote : When you understand the words spoken by someone, all you hear is meaning; otherwise, all you hear is jumbled / incoherent sound. *by me =D*
I find this very true, cuz i can't hear exactly how Chinese/ English / Malay is pronounced when i'm talking to someone, to hear it, i cant hear the meaning behind the sounds.
perhaps its just my retarded brain cells .

-signing off-

Given a choice

2010-08-05T21:57:00.003+08:00

Will you want to be ordinary?
I'm sort of on the fence in this matter.

Some might recall, I posted in Facebook before,
"Life is fair, it just depends on which part of the cake you've gotten"
However, I must agree with the saying that " with money, you are not everything, but without money, you are nearly nothing"
What i mean in no money is those people living below the poverty line. $1 per day.
Honestly, are they really happy?
Maybe yes, but given a choice, what will they want?
- more money? = more food? -
Many women out there, being succumbed due to societal pressure to be submissive,
and being very poor, what are they feeling?. How can I know?
reading biographies? maybe..

_____________________________________________

Back to the brighter side of things.
There are so many smart people right now in college,
they are really really smart.
And hardworking.
Kick my ass, I'm definitely back to my form5 shape,
laziness dominate my life =)

Trials is in two weeks. and i'm so not prepared.

I'm not going to rant about this. =D

Its 10.05 pm, and i'm going to bed !
F I N A L

bed is where i spent 1/3 of my day right now...
*dreams*
Its just awesome when you wake up and know you've slept for hours isn't it?

-Inception is AWE SO ME !-
-my nails are red again-
-i should study-

Life

2010-08-02T00:10:00.003+08:00

My life now revolves around my family, my dog, my friends.
When you have less things to focus on, you'll focus on the ones that you have more.
At least that is for me.
So now I'm so in LOVE with my baby jake, he's like one huge chunk of my life.
so cute, so charming, so mischievous..

*BEAMS*

I realised that eating chocolates, icecreams and shopping helps to cure my moodiness !
especially if i splurge on stuffs..
there's this huge mega sales in Crabtree and Evelyn, so.. hmm.. sort of bought a lot of stuffs.
My mum signed her card and said " so no more Hilton choco cake.. and i gave her the biggest smile ever.. OF COURSE =D*

But i went hiking today, 1 hour + i guess.. no stops.. just climbed and climbed..
sweat like nobody's business..
but i felt great after that..
my legs aren't sore or anything =DDDD

12.24am.. the latest i have ever stayed up before a school day..
i should go to bed =D

Jumbled Jumbo

2010-07-31T00:21:00.002+08:00

Well, good for you girl =D
- big hugs, proud of you-

When people ask if i expect too much of myself, I'll answer no.
A big definite no.
I have unlimited potential, YOU have unlimited potential, THEY have unlimited potential.
It just depends on which field, and how we tapered into the scenes.
Success is a 50% 50% chance. Work + Luck.
I'll be working my ass off to make sure the 50% works for me. The other 50% ? I'll pass it to all the unforeseen probabilities.
Why am i stressing out?
I don't know.
The more i see the less i know *humming the song*

I LOVE my awesome friends.
They helped me, supported me, and never ever judge me.
Some people vilify me, some are pure backstabbers, some created fiction when what they know about me is just my name. Some, being pressured to fit it inevitably bow to peer pressure. Well , I've said it to my roomie, keepers are keepers; those who aren't, I hope life revolves around you in a better way.

Life is far from perfect, but you know what, I'll make do with what i have, and I'm happy about it. I'm over the phase. Round off. Canceled off. Make that whatever verb you want =D

But right now, I need some clear honest view *esp personal statement*.
Same mentality ( my sister and I perhaps aren't exactly from the same set of minds)
Unobstructed view.

Trust in me, i tell myself.

Personal Statement

2010-07-29T19:35:00.002+08:00

I am FREAKING out !
The more i reread my personal statement, the lamer it got !!
LAMO LAMO !

I don't know what more to do, I really want to revamp the whole personal statement !
Questions keep twirling the edge of my mind.

Does it sounds like me?
I sound too cheesy?
Does this coincide with everyone's else personal statement?
Do i sound too confident? Or i'm too humble?
Am I portraying a reliable candidate for the competitive course?
Does it shows too much general interest?
Should i dwell on complex issues?
Should i specify which part I wanna contribute in?
Should i quote?
Should i write my ideas? How will i support it ?
How should i write my achievements and tailor it so that it is concise?

DIE - iNG
I just need to rant....

Blast

2010-07-25T20:32:00.002+08:00

FUll blast today.
Woke up early, after sleeping 12 hours straight.
*Smooch sleep*

Put on a dress, tucked it in with a shorts. Slipped on my heels and off i go book hunting.
Went to chilis for Lunch , their sandwich can be labelled as THE AWESOME.
3 persons = 100 bucks.. not that bad huh.. =D

hunting for lotion, bought a small sample from crabtree and evelyn.
You'll hear more from me if its great. *btw 50ml cost me RM43 =(*
Then i scoot around with my sister, exchanging currencies..
met up with sze ern, mok them..
LONG TIME NO SEE =) i miss them ..

Then i started to help out in the kitchen..
yes KITCHEN..
helping to make banana crisps.. end results = not bad !!

all in all, it took my mind off many things which are so unimportant
my life is perfect.
even thou it has its imperfections =)

i know..

2010-07-24T21:03:00.003+08:00

I will start of with something positive =)
Today was really awesome.
Had some pretty exciting time =P

I finally feel that someone is finally peering through the world through my eyes, not tainted nor influenced by other view's and personal opinions.
Same page, same view.
And its so random, that it came out of nowhere.

Did i feel weighed down after that? Hell yea.. I looked clearer at my surroundings,
I really don't feel like leaving my family and friends for 3 years.
" We grew up here"
I feel so relieved when i heard that.
But i will, i promised myself that.
There is so much that the world can offer me, I'm going to grab for it.
Lunge, leap and live in that moment.

Yes, a same page.
" Dont really feel like it right now, although its workable"
in a different sense.

I feel at home now.
Somebody understands completely.

Light Stroll In CAsa

2010-07-08T20:24:00.002+08:00

This place isn't bad. Cross my heart. The bus isn't bad. I swear i'm not lying.
Surrounding myself with scholars wasn't stressful, they are normal people, I assure you.
Sorry Casa for being beleaguered by ungrateful people like me =P

Balancing life in A levels is fun.
I like being around people who are motivated by their future, empowered by their own dreams. They make everything seems within my grasp, and I am going to stretched until my ligaments tore to grab it. I love A levels, although it is not as easy as everyone thinks. For one, percentage of people getting A's aren't as many as people thought, its just the quality of student in Taylors, making it altogether more stressful than ever.

Having changing my taste for books, I realized that magazines are really interesting, and i well recommend FREAKANOMICS to those who are "into" economics. It is a pretty old book, and if you want the continuation of this book, its call SUPER FREAKONOMICS, sounds lame, but i think its not a wise choice to let it slip by, although i haven't read it up myself.

And as a footnote, as by promoted by mm

I Dont Care.

tarnish me, but i'll still be there.
standing taller than ever =)

argumentative

2010-06-27T23:24:00.002+08:00

Have been reading quite a bit about North Korea. You might be wondering what propelled me to such boredom but i guess its the long lifeless holiday and that, hopefully it helps to perpetuate my interest in current issues.

Well, I find some parts somewhat hilarious, with the loudspeakers propaganda issue about North/ South Korea. It is totally right to have concerned about the new successor of North Korea, which might be Kim's youngest son. Pretty much political games. Wouldn't mitigate the tension anyways.

The foreseen step down of Kevin Rudd wasn't that surprising. At least he steped down in grace hadn't he?

Hmm, abolishing PMR isn't that good of an idea for me. I think that PMR should be something that challenges our teens, not in the current exam format thou, more of fresh questions that tests the thinking capability than the memorizing abilities. Although memorizing skills are dreadfully crucial in studying , in reality , the tiny improvisation is where the key lies. You see, lets say someone is selling a waffle for Rm 2.40 , reasonable much? Yeah.. I would say so. But if another smart alex improvised on the waffle by making it like a heart-shaped waffle with healthy fillings * as of now we are more concerned about our food* how much can he/she charge then? Rm 4.50 ? Will the revenue be increased, yes i presume. We are now looking for abnormalities, not the old-fashioned hand me downs *albeit it is still important*. So why are we teaching students to reproduce, why not guide them to speak aloud fresh ideas. It might take us by surprise how innovative young bright minds are. =)

___________________________________________________
Dreading the days to Casa Subang. I really don't have any ideas about how life would be there, with no friends cosseting me all the way. *Yun ying , joanne.. =((*
I'm lucky to have tze ni there for a week, hopefully she'll stay and i'll be less lonely =0

Giving up French isn't easy. I'm not a quitter, but i'm not irrational either.
Au revoir francais.

I will survive in Casa, I will be more than what i am today.
That i promise myself =)

Awesome News =)

2010-06-22T11:37:00.002+08:00

I did well enough for my semester 1 *B E A M S*
Although its not the BEST BEST BEST ,
but i did at least satisfy myself =))

Talking bout last week, there's a real VALUE FOR MONEY SPA at kenny hills*aka green lungs of KL*

People simply must go there ! The massage therapist can pierce through the crooks of your body, nailing each bit of imperfection . AND aloha imperfection, what i meant is the insides *eg digestive system , water retention , wind ....* She even suggested suitable food for blood types =)

The package i went for is so so so WORTH it that surely everyone cannot resist.
Total cost = RM 168
consist of facial , spa , body exfoliating, body massage * don't be fooled like me.. body massage hurts as its target is for health, not comfort *

Hmm..since when i'm a PR person.......

As most know, I'm a bummer in sports.
So i dragged baby jake *monster jake now* for a jog..
Damn fun ! Chasing after my mum as she jogs..hahaha.. as jake wanna stop every few steps and rush towards my mum after he had done his sniffing *on other dog's poop..EWW*

So , its RUN, SLOW JOG , STOP.. continuously ..
more tiring than i exercise myself..
after jogging for around 20 minutes, a huge fierce dog ran out from its house and started looking..no .. i meant CONTEMPLATING us.. amiciable NOT..

so we ran back while my mum keeps jogging..>.<
apparently that dog was evil to other dogs only...

A fun day all in all...
as i had lunch at the gardens a g a i n.. superb much !

Pamper week !!

2010-06-20T23:58:00.007+08:00

Shopping shopping and more more more SHOPPING !!

Swept my mum's credit card clean ..hahah =) wooots <3..)">
[ please focus on the background. and yea.. my backpacker look =P ]

[ Tousled look ]

[ the queue, luckily we're at the front ]

[ the castle, nice rite??!!? , its real ! ]
[ sci-fi city ]

Honestly, the view there is amazing , but if you are looking for rides, the choices are pretty limited. The best ride is THE REVENGE OF MUMMY.. !! a must go ride..
it goes backwards and swirl ! =))))))))))))))

A compact week.
Next week will be study + assignments + research week =)

Freedom

2010-06-11T21:36:00.002+08:00

Finished all the semester exams. Whooots !!
but a disappointing decision made by me is that i forgo another chance to meet and dine with the Governor of Bank Negara.
I thought i was going for the Miracle Camp,hence turning that invitation down.
But at last i didn't go for the camp, instead procrastinating pending jobs and missing this amazing opportunity. Kind of a down fall, really.

Now, looking from a less glumly angle, I actually did manage to do Further Maths 2 questions, so perhaps i will not fail my further maths after all. *big sigh of relieve* . Perhaps the highlight of this week is dinner with my cousins and crapping with my classmates.

Do you realize that we keep too much of a items, all of which we claimed as sentimental. I've been thinking that if i continue doing all of that * including keeping exam papers* wouldn't my room be a library of Huey Yuin, something like Museum of Wax thingy. The thought of my portraits and handwriting plastered all over crawl under my skin.

Now, my timetable for 2 weeks holiday seemed to be almost fully scheduled.
Oh My Gosh, i haven't even started officially !

As of now, i really feel like katak 0.1 ,with negligible knowledge about current issues. However , I hope that RM keep appreciating. I want to go traveling in Europe ! *J'aime la voyagev!!*

A complete jibber jabber from me XD

breathe BREATHe!

2010-05-22T22:55:00.004+08:00

Okay okay.. stop being a fool..
i'm just reminding myself to take a break from physics pass year questions..
DAMN lot okay ??!
and i just started only.. =( ?!

As for now, i try to indulge in as many charity events as possible. Its really cool and I like being a part of the community that helps people or animals. But the fact stays that I'm more of an animal hugger person. So please invite me out if you are planning to go help out animals / campaign for animals / raise awareness or even environment stuffs. I'll try to make time for those as much as possible =DD.
*STOP OIL SPILLING*

Okay, my lecturer actually was a charity person and i'm loving it !
He's giving extra classes to raise funds for charity. Seriously, how cool is that??

By the way, there will be a jog for hope event organised by TAYLORS SRI HARTAMAS on 17th july 2010. Please contact me personally for more information. =)

In this past one week especially, I realized that sometimes help offered are not taken as granted, but chucked away. How pathetic is that. I tried to help, but if YOU do not need it, please say so and save my breathe and time. Honestly, I helped because of my own principle that selfish-ness doesnt bring anyone anywhere.
There's a thing that i believe in: Success is based on luck and skill. 50% of each. To accumulate luck, imagine yourself as being a bottle full of air. When u give out some air, sooner or later, you'll be an empty bottle. *this is the concept of humans, we think that when we give out, we'll lose out and eventually become a useless liability." But for me, the bottle isnt empty at all, think of it as a vacuum. Imagine when the right opportunity comes, you'll have to open it. AND when that time comes, luck rolls in and you'll be truly successful not only in work but in life.
The point i'm making here is not that we should always think of others first, what i'm trying to make a point is that we should offer whatever is within our limits to help others achieve a greater height. That is what TEAMWORK means, that is what FRIEND means.

- STUDY hueyyuin -
- I miss my friends -

Outings

2010-05-09T01:12:00.002+08:00

Well, i woke up bright and early to prepare for mum's cake and my beloved jia en's cake. So, Hm... summary of the whole preparation is TIRING..
then laze around absent mindedly whole afternoon. Oh yeah, i brought little baby jake for his 2nd jab. He's so amazingly CHARMING, not naughty and mischevious at all, which is odd / miracle for him. He even greeted another dog by "woofing politely". Of course, he's my baby. He didnt whine or struggle while he was jabbed. I guess the spankings at home train him to be a tough baby. =P

Well, another highlight is dinner at temptations.The food aren't bad. I would probably rate it 8/10 . Awesome not? YES. Ambiance kind of feel like Bali, freaking cool. The only drawback is that is it quite pricy and in my own "small" opinion, not really worth it,but u crave enough for the food, its fine actually. My cake was awesome too!
i Knew that i wasn't pretty,but im still very satisfied. *cheers*. I hope that dear dear LOVES it. YOU are the first person besides my family that i've baked for and its for you *pour vous*

I am dead tired right now.
Blog might not be updated.
SEM EXAm !!!

-I hope that her suffering lessens. -*Thanks for your support. I know you care about me that much. My nightmares at night will be over. Luck will be with me. Hope will be with me. Love will be with me and you,my relative. I really appreciate what you've done and it does imprint a part of you on me. You are strong spirit, a true jet fighter, I admire you and will aspire to be a great woman like you. You wouldn't understand what I am writing, as you speak hokkien most of the time. But thankyou. You wouldnt know that i dedicated this passage to you, but i want to do this anyway. You are a kind and brave woman =)merci beaucoup*

0_0

2010-05-04T18:30:00.001+08:00

Mum in SG is worried about me, as i hadnt been really well.
I'm kinnda stressed out, thats why i'm definitely NOT in my best moments.
School works are overwhelming and i have so much more to catch up on.
Not to mention my burning throbbing ANNOYING desire to watch movies and go hang out with my friends.
This could only be concluded as DISASTER.
Self - control must be implemented.
I must remember that SEM 1 exams = forecast = ticket to good Uni.

YES YES YES..
=(((

but the main point here is to wish my dear dear happy birthday...!!!
thinking back.. really fate brought us together *cliche* i know..
but then sitting beside her hadnt been anything less than FUN !
thinking back we were laughing and chatting.
remember the form 3 BC text book with the big MOON???
LOL.. we laughed like hell..

seriously.. without her in secondary school..
my life will be DULL..
but she's rajin girl.. i'm lazy.. thats why.. i ALWAYS copy her chemistry HW..

hope that she will be always safe and sound..
happy and endearing..

and *squeals.. she just called me !!!*

okay.. hope that her wishes become trueeeeeee

i paaaaaaling sayang u..!!

Summary

2010-04-30T18:06:00.002+08:00

Busy busy week..
i'll start of with Monday..
the INTERVIEW day..

it was fun with the PURPLES...
again and again.. the cafeteria never stop to WOW me right in the face =)
and of course..somehow... somewhere..someplace...
the faci / HR people know that my mum is working there, and my sis is a scholar too !

i can understand the fact that they know my mum..
but .. my SIS also ??

since my mum is kindda widely connected..
i met some of her colleagues and they recognized me..
they were appalled at first because my mum did not inform anyone that i was going..
so they sat down and have a chat with me..
while the others "jaws dropped"
i was shocked too XD

then from 7.30am - 4.30 am ..
i was at BNM for the interview..
then jam jam JAM JAM JAm + dinner..
8pm....
then do online test + packing.. 10 pm..

head straight back to taylor..
summore go pappa rich..

END RESULTS?
TIRED like hell lah !
the next day i was so disorientated...

the days flew by after that..
i did not have much time ..
i did not complete my homework
i did not start at the proposals
i did not start at the evaluation paper..

etc
...
....

A LOT LOT LOT LOT LOT !!!

i will be on self-ground after this week..
so...

penangguhan "outings"
at least until sem1 test is over =((((

-^^-

2010-04-23T17:52:00.005+08:00

back to public..
lolx.. i'm too free la..

actually i want to upload video of my smart son !!
but then the cable is upstairs.. so..too bad la..
i'm LAZY

SHE songs ... are SUPERB... please listen and support their ori !!
the lyrics and melody..WOOOSsh.. damn NICE
go SHE !!!
thankx xin for lending me her popular card that helped me saved RM5...
so i had to pay RM 45 for the cd *beams*

French class has been really interesting =))
but damn hard..
examples :
avoir ( to have )
J'ai - I have
+J'ai dix ans - I have 10 years ( literally translated )

Tu as- You have

Il / Elle a - He / She has

Nous avons - We have

Vous avez - You all have

Ils / Elles ont - They have

damn HARD rite ?!?!?
okay.. no more french.i'm sure its boring u guys out..

well..
i went on shell's phone interview yesterday

its NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT easy..
konon LAH .. shell wert..
i was at my wits end.. biting fingernails and all..
and i think i flung it.. =(((((
but its all luck...
so.. if i got it..i'm blessed

for schooling..
we all failed to do ques 3 for further maths 2 = mechanics..
so ...
highest mark is 12/20..
mr teh was clearly upset and wants us all to RESIT..
good for us ! yay ! cuz our marks couldnt get any lower than this..
on the other hand.. i felt pity for him la.. he was very very frustrated..
cuz we dun wanna do hw.. then talk all the time ..
then failed his test...
*in fact.. ALL my class lecturers dun like our class i guess..hahah..super noisy and hyperactive / SLEEP *

then i was so BRAVE..
sat for further maths 1 test ..
without a WATCH !!
so i have no idea of the time at all..
just got the paper..
then start scribbling.. doing mental calculations..
*cuz its proving / algebraic stuffs / graph.. so we dun have to use calculator*

this whole week i had been preparing for environmental club's booth for march intake students..
writing cardboard..being LOCKED in the "toilet" by ka.. forcing me to finish the wordings inside..
then he sat outside..*on guard* ha HA ha...
its nice..
and i think its gud to help out *even thou it wasnt my part.. but i felt that it IS .. so i helped.. and some contrasting opinions i gotten the next day strengthen my opinion that we should be more selfless.. so for that person who told me that "why you so dumb go help"..well.. i think that YOU missed out everything - period

and...
we won the bEST booth !!
wooots.. go environment club !!!!!

this saturday there's a booth event for MEGA EARTH day..
please visit sonia / minyi's blog for more info..

but i can't attend it ...
i WANT to ............
=((((((((((((

sigh.. NEXT time !!!!

- cho dai di at CY/KA hse is fun la.. hahahahah-
-i hope my friends are happy too-
-too bad my dear dear wife birthday was 2 weeks too late.. muacks.. XD-

. . . .thats all ... XD

2010-04-08T23:38:00.002+08:00

Hm.. i left my blog to bleed to death..
too much on going issues in my life..
not complicated.. NOT simple..

went for jpa interview today..
crapped out many stuffs *relevant / irrelevant*..
cuz the others are so damn quiet..
and didnt wanna volunteer..
so i did..

went with sze ern.. XD
she got lost because of me ~~ YIKES.. sorrrryyyyy
then saw Lb,yi qin..and the BUNCH of taylornians..
so comforting to have them all !!
most surprised to see tommy cuz i didn't know he was on the same slot too..

BUT
highlight of the day is..
i saw MR FARID ..
YES.. you saw it right ...
F A R I D !

me and mum even sat at the same table to chat with him..
he was telling us about his family larh..
then i ciao to get drinkx XDDD !!

then we rejoined sze ern *as she blur blurry saw her slot is 2pm.but its 3 !*
and headed back home..
after a bath ..
went back to ICLS subang for language class..
fun !!
interestingggggg~~~~~~~~~~ XD

then i got my fav fav snowflakes soya series..
damn NICE..
you have to get one to LOVE it !!!!!!!

then drove home =)
of cuz.. with mum beside me..

-my driving skills failed !-
-smart people that use smart tag sometimes face problem....that cause bodoh ppl like to me switch to touch and go and almost smashed into the bar..yea..haha.. stupid..XD cuz it was on D and i couldnt touch..so i leaned out and..woosh..the car zoomed forward-
-<3 soy series-