It has taken me this long to let the dust settle down to where it belongs.
The three years in university, undoubtedly, are the best three years of my life. Not necessarily the easiest, more tears had been shed, than all the other years combined. The stress of performing and staying on top of the game gets to one, and to compete amongst the elite, and making your own fort, and holding it secure is a feeling that I can't pen down in words. I played the game, well.
None of the academic achievements will last. Because reflecting back, it is the time I spent with my pseudo-family, friends, acquaintances, and even myself that mattered. I spent my last days in Cambridge with people I truly cared about. Doing things I never thought I'd do. I danced in the rain, jumped into a pool when it's 15 degrees (or colder), went into a restaurant shabbily clad, and visiting small inconspicuous cafes which served the best coffees. Cambridge was home ground. I knew where everything was, and where I'd like to spend my time. Oddly, even my hometown in Malaysia doesn't provide me the sense of belonging as Cambridge did.
More so, I miss the days when I can dress myself up in a few minutes, and walk out of my front door and be in the middle of everything. I could be in my favourite cafe in 10 minutes, and visit King's chapel if desired in a moment's notice. I could pop down to London in 45 minutes, and catch a musical (I pay through my nose for tickets, because I love love love live shows), and be back on the day itself. The convenience, and this luxury has been brutally taken away from me. It'll never come back, because I can no longer call Cambridge my home. It was my home.
I came to terms with these. The best things have to end one way or the other. Friendships last too, so goodbyes are easier :)
But also, leaving gives me a reason to go back.
Maybe for good in a couple years time.
I miss Cambridge. The bubble.
P.S. Then we'll be together again.