Friendship

Read an article written by a friend tonight. This is funny, I just met him once, and tada? He is a friend already? I would blatantly deny that, venomously too if you had told me that I would have a friend as such years ago. Now, I merely see things in a different light.

Friends come and go. Flowers bloom and wilt. The rites of life, the passage of growth. One that we trod on the way to "grow up" and become an adult eventually. A friend would always be there. That was what I used to think. Convinced and held it true to my heart. But with the hustle bustle, and the pressuring tides from everyday life, however menial they may seem, do affect and might just change every bit of friendship, subtly.

One day, we might wake up and realize that she/he/they isn't/aren't present in our lives anymore. I felt the loss, the intangible sense of losing something. Some things are done because of the company, don't you agree? Going down the library. Taking the bus to a specific destination. Getting choco-flavored bubble tea. List goes on. Is it sad? Yes, it is. Wanting something to last is of course, what we like as human beings. I now know that as years move by, we gain and lose.

I lost some friendships along the way. Some memories make me tear up, and I wonder how that all happened. They weren't supposed to be that way! I lament, I whine, I wallow in self-pity but at the end of the day, I'm glad with all this experience, I get to paint my memories with brighter hues. The leaves have fallen. New ones are peeking from their buds, really to unfold anytime. Truly, that is the magic of spring, isn't it?

Some friendship, I've gained. Meeting new people, where we had no intention of keeping them as contacts. Those days, I missed. Now, many people do things for a purpose. I am not shying away from that claim. I too, keep people around at times because I feel that in the future I might need their help or blessings. What have I become. Some networking machine? However, I know that I make friends just because I like them. It is still that simple right now. I need them. I love hanging out with them. What is more to that? Always talking about something meaningful? No, for me it doesn't play out that way, the little conversation, or small gestures are the ones that stays. What is your friendship like without those things? Then the inside jokes, lame stories that somehow, keep finding a way to creep into the conversations. Those are the good days.

Then other friendships, those I've tucked away, safely in a corner. I have revisited them. Opened some old wound from time to time. Discover some little magic left in those memories. I too fumbled through the drawers, realizing how crazy we were, doing things, laughing without worries. Then, there are those who can always bring a smile to my face, like I've tasted something forbidden, too sweet to share. Those people, whom I can trust. No matter how much time has passed. Their traits seem to set in stone. I know that people do change, but somehow it doesn't apply to them. Puzzles me. But familiarity is a strong thing. I rely and I love. I cherish and I fought to keep them there.

Some of them are always there for me. Months may have passed. We may not have spoken. Nor would I know what they were up to. But when i reopened that dusty book ( facebook? okay pun intended) , I can still see them smiling and we can open up. Talking and sharing secrets. Why? Because we had a place for one another. Always. There is always care and forgiveness when it comes to this kind of friendship. Never will them hurt you too much. You will forgive and forget. Or will you? I know I will, or more accurately, I did. Of course it bothers me. Don't ever think those memories will shun away and stay there. Old skeletons in the closet. It hurts. But then, I knew you cared about me. So all is well. We are friends. I love you as one, and I'm ready to let go and move on.

One must have time to keep in touch with friends. It just wouldn't last if it is a one way thing. Time however, is scarce once I'm in the college. That is probably why I'm writing this. To remind myself that I have friends here. Those whom I claim I would make time for. Once life gets too busy, I do hope people reading this blog post understand. Yet, that wouldn't be an excuse strong enough to get me by too long. Do probe me if I seem like a distant friend, or worse acquaintance. Life rolls. But somethings are meant to be kept.

Just like those camps' name tag. Flipping past them bring me joy.

Sometimes, feeling nostalgic and understanding that the chapter has come to an end is a better choice, no?

I'm just thinking aloud. =)