I haven't write a decent length post for quite some time. My bad.

Well, things went back to what it should not be. I fought hard to make it till this point, only to realize that, i still rely on that, too much in fact. Tethered to an amazingly strong invisible string, juggled and so so twisted. Uncertainties are unavoidable. BUT please, I would rather them be bygones, instead of hunting me down again and again. What, why, how plagued me. I know what to do, or at least i believe that i know which foot to put forward, backwards, or stationary. Are these the right decisions? I probably never know.

Some friendships are so valuable that it is a pain to destroy it with your own hands. Yet looking at it the other way will taint the pure relationship. I tried. to move on. But the memories are there, reliving it hurts. Not of pain, just of betrayal. Betrayal perhaps is too strong a word, but i felt violated. If things had happened with my consent, then yes, i am a conspirator too. I need to know that we are okay, things had not changed. I want to know that. I pray for the answer. Yet i know , i cannot face you the exact same way again, it hits replay, and replay. I don't know when it will stop, but when it does, you can reclaim your spot in my heart, as one of my most trusted friend again. For now, I need someone else to protect me. I'm dreadfully sorry, but I've chosen.

I'm not emo. I just need to write this out. Life is about choices, I made them. Time to detach from you, and forgive another you. The vagueness of this post must have driven any of the people reading nuts. But I dont feel sorry =)