Having and Being/ Losing and Gaining

One of the most memorable talks I had during the BNM camp was with Director of Human Resource, Mr. Adhari. He gave some insights about being and having. Having knowledge and being knowledgeable is entirely different, with the former being the pre-requisite. Having to fulfill an task and being able to do that, sends different message, don't you agree? The 2.5 hours session really worked it's way till the core of my being, and i was more conscious, less ignorant about how I feel inside. I understood value of each individual. 50 cents or rm 1 worth more? What is the difference? 50 cents? or more than that? Less than that? We were taught to not read and understand things based on face value.

Then the issue about losing and gaining. Quote from "how i met your mother" , "sometimes, things had to fall apart to give way to bigger, better things". How I wish that is true. I am an introvert, by nature. Exposing myself to crowds drains me. It doesn't mean that I'm socially inept, I do like socializing around, just I tend to keep to certain groups. Sticking to a certain decision is inherently difficult, and nonetheless, paramount, so that I can move on with my life. I must say I did make progress, hard earned ones by the way, through blood, sweat, but not tears luckily. Imma stick it out till the end *hums*.

This camp helps me get rid of some of my insecurities. The fact that everyone feels some form of fear, being helpless, defenceless, feeling stupid, and kiasu. What I must do now is to believe in myself. No one else has the obligation to do that. If i do not trust my abilities, it would be a crime to expect others to push me to greater heights, because i deny it, although some dark forms of self-doubting is still lurking around, too deeply ingrained.

So thats about it for now =)